Ishmael Jokes

...at the ripe old age of 97. He weakly raises his head and, through whispered, labored breaths, asks, "Where is my wife, Elena?"

"Oi vey, I am here, my love," whimpers the elderly woman as she clutches her husband's hand.

"This is good," says Ishmael. "And what of my son, Abraham? Is ... read more

Ishmael was known far and wide as the world's greatest tattoo artist. He was not only a master of his craft, but was the foremost scholar on the topic of tattooing.

Ismael didn't only know all the best tattooing techniques, old and new, but had rigorously studied the history of tattoos includ... read more

Sarah nods her head, gets out of bed, throws open the window and yells for Ishmael "Ishmael! Ishmael! Wake up!"
Ishmael opens the window and cries "Sarah, what is the matter? It is the middle of the night!"
Sarah replies "Ishmael, you know that 20 kopeks my husband owes you?" He replie... read more

A famous burglar breaks into a house that he knows has a lot of money hidden in a safe. He also knows that the owner, an old man, is away for the weekend. Once he’s inside, he searches all the rooms on the lower floor. He finds nothing. As he walks upstairs to continue to search for the old man’s sa... read more

There usually Ishmael this time of day

Two homeless friends meet in a small british town on a Sunday morning after a long time.

*We must celebrate, let's have a drink, what do you have on you?*

*I only have a few Euros, and you?*

*Me too, hardly enough to have a nice drinking day.*

After a moment of silence, t... read more