My wife doesn't understand why I prefer to play Mario Kart over having relations with her

In Mario Kart, it is a GOOD thing when I finish first

What did Mario Kart do when it got hungry?

Mario Kart 8

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Working from home is great! I’m basically getting paid $30 / hr to play Mario kart and have sex with my wife!

That’s like $3 per race and $0.50 every time I have sex!

Donald Trump must play Mario Kart.

Because he was in the lead but got hit by something blue at the end of the race.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why isn’t Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he can’t finish a race

What do you call someone who has a favorite map on Mario Kart?

Racist.

Back when I was younger, I looked in the Mario Kart Wii manual and saw it had Classic Controller Support. I thought, "How the hell do you use that?"

Looking back now that I have a Wii again, I looked at my Wii remote and said, "How the hell did I use that?

I hope Stephen Hawkins was an organ donor

I really need some parts for my go kart

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Day 173 without sex

Threw the blue shell in Mario Kart while I was already in first place to remember what it's like to get hit from behind.

President Trump decided to play Mario Kart with his cabinet

He thought that this would be be a good bonding exercise with his staff so he bought a Wii and ordered his whole office to come into the oval office

Once everyone arrived there was a huge argument on who would play as what character, because everyone wanted to be Mario. Trump decided that thi...

Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart?

The short circuit

FPS has many different meanings

60 FPS is great in Mario kart
But there’s 1 FPS at my school

Should I beat my kids?

I know I'm not supposed to, but they just make me so frustrated

My wife says I'm being irrational and getting wound up over nothing, and that if I beat them she'll be incredibly upset and won't even know what to say to me.

But you know when it's just the same stuff day in, day out. And...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teacher asks the children in her class what they done at the weekend...

"I went out for the day, and rode on the choo choo", said Billy.

"Billy", said the teacher, "we don't use childish and immature language in my class. You rode on a train... Steve?"

"My dad and I went go-karting but I crashed and got a boo boo", said Steve.

"Steve, I just said we...

Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card?

. .Cos I really need bits for my kids go-kart

So I beat my son the other day

Man he sucks at mario kart

I'm not a racist, I love all races equally

Nascar, Formula 1, Mario Kart......

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I hate it when my girlfriend constantly cheats

It’s the only way the stupid bitch can beat me at Mario Kart.

My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake.

He beat me at Mario Kart.

I don't always drink and drive. But when I do...

it's when I'm playing Mario Kart.

My dad beats me almost every day

It's like he's addicted to Mario Kart

My boss phoned me.

"You're late."

I said, "I'm driving right now. Can't talk."

"Where are you?"

"I'm at the go-kart centre." I replied.

A good joke for a date

Joe takes Kelly to a carnival on a blind date. Joe asks, "what would you like to do first?" and Kelly replies, "I want to get weighed." So they visit the weight guesser who predicts that Kelly weighs 130 pounds. Since she only weighs 110 pounds, Kelly wins a stuffed animal.
Joe asks what she wou...

After working out for over a year, I successfully dated several girls who always jumped on my couch, saying 'do whatever you want with me'.

But unfortunately none of them liked Mario Kart. :(

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