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Kant Jokes

Ok I have a Scottish joke: Sam Wanamaker, Immanuel Kant. Sammy Cahn…

… but Walt Disney.

What do you call a fast, carnivorous dinosaur with opinions on Hegel and Kant?

A philosoraptor!

Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?

Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.

Why don't Deontologists lie, cheat, steal or kill?



They just Kant.

What did the philosophy major say when asked “can you recommend a philosopher who wrote on how to treat his fellow man?”

“I. Kant”

Immanuel doesn't pun.

He Kant.

Why doesn’t the philosopher like to do archery?

Because he Kant hit the Marx.

Why did the teenager fail their philosophy class?

Because they just, like, Kant understand.

German philosophy professor arrive to Australia

Professor: Today we'll study Kant

Student: Ok, mate, so what we will study?

Can you imagine referring to philosophers by their first initial and last name?

Because I Kant.

Have you seen the entitled philosopher preaching outside the women’s dorm today?

What a Kant.

What did the Prussian philosopher say when he was asked to teach religion ?

I Kant

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They Kant

A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!"

...I Kant

I wanted to make a joke about Philosophy

But I just Kant.

If everyone did things like you do, would the world be a better place?

No?
Guess it Kant be helped

Philosophy Convention

All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation unti...

I was going to tell a joke about 18th century philosophers...

But I just Kant.

I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers...

but I Kant.

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

Someone told me to make a philosphy joke. My response:

I Kant.

I thought I could finish this philosophy essay...

...Turns out I Kant.

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