Ok I have a Scottish joke: Sam Wanamaker, Immanuel Kant. Sammy Cahn…

… but Walt Disney.

Immanuel Kant

But at least, Immanuel tried.

Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?

Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.

What do you call a fast, carnivorous dinosaur with opinions on Hegel and Kant?

A philosoraptor!

Why did the teenager fail their philosophy class?

Because they just, like, Kant understand.

I once met a comedian named Dessie Kant.

Her humor was a little dry.

German philosophy professor arrive to Australia

Professor: Today we'll study Kant

Student: Ok, mate, so what we will study?

How many philosophers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

They Kant

Why doesn’t the philosopher like to do archery?

Because he Kant hit the Marx.

Can you imagine referring to philosophers by their first initial and last name?

Because I Kant.

A few months ago, a time traveller ran up to someone and shouts "I need you to say the 9th letter of the alphabet and the German founder of the philosophical doctrine of transcendental idealism, or the world will fall into chaos!"

...I Kant

What did the philosophy major say when asked “can you recommend a philosopher who wrote on how to treat his fellow man?”

“I. Kant”

I wanted to make a joke about Philosophy

But I just Kant.

I was going to tell a joke about 18th century philosophers...

But I just Kant.

I want to stop philosophizing

But I kant

Have you seen the entitled philosopher preaching outside the women’s dorm today?

What a Kant.

I tried to come up with a pun about famous German philosophers...

but I Kant.

Philosophy Convention

All the world's greatest philosophers are gathering in France for the largest philosophy convention ever. Socrates, Descartes, Kant, etc have all made their way to Paris and checked into their rooms. Aristotle's invitation was lost in the time-travel post office and he didn't get the invitation unti...

Someone told me to make a philosphy joke. My response:

I Kant.

What did Hannibal Lecter say to the philosophy professor after the lecture?

I can smell your Kant.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.