UPJOKE
excusevindicatelegitimateabsolvewarrantjustificationcorrectfreeexplainupholdreasonablemerelyproveconsiderresist

Justified Jokes

What's the difference between a toddler and a Capitol Rioter?

Toddlers have more teeth, smell better, and have thrown tantrums for more justified reasons.

At my trial the judge asked me how i justified using force to get women to sleep with me...

Apparently "Because I'm a Jedi" wasn't a good enough excuse

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The First Lady was touring a hospital one day.

During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.

"Oh my GOD!" screamed the First Lady. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"

The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a s...

My friend who studies history just reformatted his online notes in time for his finals

Too bad though, war crimes are now justified

If a group of crows is a murder...

...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.

I work as a comedian in China, and the authorities are always vetting my material.

>!everythIng is Always Moderated wIthiN a Justified mAnner, precIse and Legitimate. !<

A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text

His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trucker goes into a truck stop...

And takes a seat next to a colleague. They chat about their routes and generally shoot the breeze for a while, until a woman passes by them and goes into the bathroom.

As she comes out, the second trucker mutters "tickle your ass with a feather?"

The woman, in shock, whirls around an...

My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay.

It wasn't justified.

Leaders show the way....

Indians are *MODIfied*

Brits are *disMAYed*

Americans are *TRUMPed*

And the French are *Macarooned*

And Canadian are *Justified*

While Russians just stay _*Put in*_..!!

When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike

People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, ...

What?

I took my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Wong to the Hospital for the imminent birth of their new Baby. When the Baby was born, it was Caucasian. What's wrong with that, you might ask? Two Wongs don't make a White.

(groans expected......and justified)

God asked St Peter why he let the last three men into heaven....

God says: "Why did you let the priest who stole from the church in?"

Saint Peter says: "The priest showed letters from the congregation documenting how he spent his last 30 years not only paying back triple what he took, but serving the church for no compensation. He has repented."

The...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.