At my trial the judge asked me how i justified using force to get women to sleep with me...
Apparently "Because I'm a Jedi" wasn't a good enough excuse
I work as a comedian in China, and the authorities are always vetting my material.
>!everythIng is Always Moderated wIthiN a Justified mAnner, precIse and Legitimate. !<
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
The First Lady was touring a hospital one day.
During her tour she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously.
"Oh my GOD!" screamed the First Lady. "That's disgraceful! Why is he doing that?"
The doctor who was leading the tour calmly explained, "I'm very sorry that you were exposed to that, but this man has a s...
If a group of crows is a murder...
...then a group of crows spaced evenly between two margins is a justified murder.
When Gandhi was on his first hunger strike
People would routinely bring him flattened bread in an attempt to get him to eat. What people don't understand though is that Gandhi was actually a very temperamental man, and prone to anger. So even when his friends and family were the ones bringing him bread, he would take it and hurl it at them, ...
A Web Designer decided to use right aligned text
His boss yelled at him for it, because it wasn't justified.
Leaders show the way....
Indians are *MODIfied*
Brits are *disMAYed*
Americans are *TRUMPed*
And the French are *Macarooned*
And Canadian are *Justified*
While Russians just stay _*Put in*_..!!
God asked St Peter why he let the last three men into heaven....
God says: "Why did you let the priest who stole from the church in?"
Saint Peter says: "The priest showed letters from the congregation documenting how he spent his last 30 years not only paying back triple what he took, but serving the church for no compensation. He has repented."
My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay.
It wasn't justified.
I took my neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Wong to the Hospital for the imminent birth of their new Baby. When the Baby was born, it was Caucasian. What's wrong with that, you might ask? Two Wongs don't make a White.
(groans expected......and justified)