Jumpsuit Jokes

Doorman: You can't come in mate, you're not in fancy dress

Guy: Yes I am, I'm a tortoise

Doorman: well I can see you're wearing green, but what's with the woman on your back?

Guy: That's Michelle....

A skydiver jumps out of a plane.
20,000ft
18,000ft
16,000ft
He pulls on his ripcord.
Nothing happens.
14,000ft
12,000ft
He pulls his backup ripcord.
10,000ft
Nothing happens
8,000ft
6,000ft
4,000ft
Suddenly a man flies up to him ... read more

By the stripes on his Adidas jumpsuit.

Staff.

After tying them up, the husband watches as the man walks over and slowly kisses the wife’s neck, before standing up, walking into the bathroom, and closing the door.

The husband says to his wife, “Look at his jumpsuit - he must’ve just gotten out of prison. I saw how he kissed your neck - yo... read more

I saw a dwarf in an orange jumpsuit shimmying down the side of the building.

I thought to myself, “now that’s a little con descending.”

So a Engineering student is studying outside when his colleague drives up in a shiny new motorcycle.

"Hey!" says the college student, "Where'd you get the motorcycle."

His colleague replied "You know it was the strangest thing. I'm walking around town when suddenly a beautiful blonde g... read more

The prison is dirty and all the men want clean jumpsuits to wear. Suddenly the Warden walks down and says "I had good news, all of you will get new clothes!" All the prisoners start cheering until the Warden says "You switch with you, you switch with you, you switch with you and you switch with you"

They'll even throw in an orange jumpsuit.

So I bought her a jumpsuit.

She walks all over town trying to find a job for someone her age. She meets three men.

The first man is short, stocky, and has a red beard. He offers her a job gutting fish. She wrinkles her pretty nose and says no thank you, I don’t like the smell.

The second man has a purple jumpsui... read more

When I saw this short man, no more than 5 feet tall, dressed in an orange jumpsuit climbing over the fence, escaping from the prison yard. As he was climbing down, he saw me and stuck out his tongue at me. I remember thinking, “That’s a little condescending.”

I think the best analogy for where we are right now is that America is Elvis Presley -- the most beautiful, talented, rebellious nation in the history of Earth. And now, you're in your Vegas years. You've squeezed yourself into a white jumpsuit, you're wheezing your way through 'Love Me Tender' and ... read more

The businessman says, "Why don't you get a job so that you can live comfortably like me? I have cable TV, internet access, and even a gym membership. I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week so that I can pay for all my expenses and I'm pretty happy with my life."

The homeless man says, "I can't f... read more