UPJOKE
runrambleexercisecalisthenicsnudgetrotlopeclipramble oneven upsquare uprunningworkoutstrolltreadmill

Jogs Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man jogs along the beach every day

One day he comes across an armless and legless lady that's crying.

He jogs over to her and asks "what's the matter?"

She replies "i have no arms or legs, and I've never been hugged before"

Feeling sorry for the lady he gives her a big hug. She stops crying and thanks the man. He...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is jogging along a beach...

A man is jogging along a beach when he sees a woman with no arms or legs sitting on a bench, crying.

He walks up to her and asks her if she's okay, to which she replies,

"I see all these people hugging, and I've never been hugged!"

So the man gives her a hug and then jogs off....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day a woman is jogging in the park (NSFW)

As she runs past the pond she sees a man with no arms and no legs sitting in a wheelchair on the pier crying. Worried, she walks up to him and asks him what's wrong.

The man looks up at her sadly and says "It's because I've never been hugged." So the woman bends down, and gives him a giganti...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[Dirty] A woman was jogging down the beach.

A woman was jogging down the beach as she spots this man alone heavily crying.

She stops and asks the man "What's wrong?"

The man sobs "Well to start off, I've lived my whole life without arms or legs and my doctor told me I only have a few months left to live."

She replies "I...

There is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day...

One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body.

He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the sand except for the one part sticking out.

...

Two old men sitting on a park bench

Two old men were sitting on a park bench watching the young women jog by. One jogger stops and gets upset at the attention. "Just who are you staring at, old man?" she asks.

He drops his head and apologizes saying "I'm sorry, but you remind me of my dear wife. She was a dark haired beauty jus...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A runner walks into a bar

An ultra runner jogs into a bar and orders a beer. She reaches into her sweaty sports bra and pulls out a sweaty crumpled $5 bill to pay. The bartender gingerly picks up the damp bill with a pair of tongs and dumps it in a bucket. "You realize every time I get money with bodily fluids on them I have...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving home one night and almost falls asleep while driving...

"God dammit," he thought, "I'll never be able to stay awake on the road, and I don't have money for a motel. I'm not gonna risk it, I'll just pull over to the side of the road and take a little nap."

He parks his car just outside of a park, and kicks his seat back. "I don't need much, maybe j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three guys die and go to hell [LONG]

Satan meets them for orientation. He asks the first one "What was your favorite sin in life?" He replies "It would have to be booze, I stayed drunk all the time." So Satan leads him to a door and opens it to reveal a giant room containing acres of every type of alcoholic drink imaginable; beers, ...

A scientist is testing a robot that he has just built, and takes him to a baseball game to test his awareness without the robot’s eyes working.

They arrive at the game and take their seats. The home team, the Boston Red Sox is losing the game 2 runs to nothing to New York. The scientist leans over and says to the robot “Run down: 2, New York” The robot takes this as a command and quickly runs to New York from Boston, arriving back just befo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nice day

Two old men are sat on a bench at the park. A young, fit girl runs past in a sports bra and a tiny pair of shorts. One of the men smiles and this brings the girl over.

"Why are you staring at me and grinning, you pervert?" she says.

The old man sweetly replies "My dear I'm not smiling ...

How does a guy prove he's tough?

He jogs home after his vasectomy.

.


Fairly old, vasectomies may not be so bad any longer.

I went to the bathroom, and couldn't remember why I went

So I'm standing there in the bathroom, and I think, hmm, maybe I needed to use the toilet.

I use the toilet, but, no, that wasn't why I went to the bathroom.

So then I see my toothbrush, and I think, well, I'm here, I might as well brush my teeth. I brush and floss my teeth, and no, th...

A fitness freak is out for a run one day. She's having a great run, tunes playing through her ear buds, sun shining.

As she sprints blissfully across a road, a massive truck ploughs into her.

The next thing she's aware of is she's standing in a shiny, beautiful place and inately realises, this must be Heaven.

Sure enough, an angel approaches her and tells her, yes she's now in Heaven and gives her a ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.