Did you hear that Jeffery Dahmer had a kid while in prison?

It was his last meal

Jeffery Dahmer visits his optometrist.

Doc says, ”you should never rub your eyes”.

Jeffrey contemplates.

Jeffery Dahmer is in his kitchen, using his blender...

... when his phone goes off in his pocket. It was a notification from the CDC:

"The public is still advised to avoid direct contact from others through cordial gestures during this pandemic, such as hugs or ***handshakes.*** "

"Awwwwww..." Jeffery mopes, as he turns off his blender.

How are Christmas ornaments and Jeffery Epstein the same?

They don't hang themselves.

What's the difference between Antony Hopkins' character in Silence of the Lambs and someone who taunted Jeffery Dahmer as he ate?

One's Hannibal Lechter and the other's a cannibal heckler.

Ted Bundy and Jeffery Dahmer have dinner together

Ted: hey Jeff you got any ice cream in the freezer?

Jeffrey: nah, only Ben and jerry

They've just found Jeffery Epstein's diary.



His last entry was about twelve years old.

Never ask Jeffery Dahmer for lettuce

He doesn't have any loose leaf


But he always has a head in the fridge

There was a time when Jeffery Epstein could call up the most powerful people in the world...

Now they just leave him hanging

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is Hitler a better person than Jeffery Epstein?

At least Hitler killed himself.

Jeffery Epstein would’ve loved Steve in Smash Bros

He really liked miners

What do Jesus and Jeffery Epstein have in common?

Neither hung themself.

What does Jeffery Epstein and me being offered 30 days of YouTube premium have in common?

We both skip the trial.

Jeffery Epstein committed suicide on suicide watch.

Everyone was surprised!

Homework is much Like Jeffery Epstine's suicide

It's not going to do itself

Covid 19 is like Jeffery Epstein.

It doesn't kill itself. Wash your damn hands

Jeffery Epstein likes his video games like he likes his suicides

Co-op

What does Jeffery Epstein and apoptosis have in common?

Programmed cell death.

Today I found out that the prison where Jeffery Epstein was kept didn’t have a suicide for 2 decades...

...and counting!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] Jeffery Epstein visited the US Virgin Islands with 12 of his closest friends...

They then left quickly when they learned the territory is over 100 years old.

Jeffery Epstien's lawyer gave a whole new meaning to proper wording

From now on, you not say to "Hang on there" when talking to your client

(NSFW) Blind guy Jeffery

A woman was having a bath. Soon enough there was a knock on the door. She was still naked. She then shouts out, "Who is it?". "It's just me, Jeffery". Jeffery was the blind guy who lived next door. "No harm if I actually go up naked he can't see anything anyways" she thought to herself. She open...

Why didn't Jeffery Dahmer eat any Germans?

They're just the wurst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeffery was having trouble with his computer.

So he called John, the 25-year-old next door neighbor, and asked him to come over.

John clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As John was walking away, Jeffery called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

Jeffery didn't wan...

Jeffery Dahmer kept a journal, he wrote how he would take the noses of his victims and make pizzas with them.

Dahmersnose Pizza.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I was just reading an article about the Sandusky sexual abuse case, only to realize that the article was not about Jerry Sandusky but his son, Jeffery. I guess the old saying is true...

The family that preys together, stays together.

Why did Jeffery Dahmer have a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet you with a handshake.

What is Jeffery Dahmer's favorite candy?

Mentos.

The CDC advises to avoid handshakes.

Jeffery Dahmer: AWWW

The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven

St. Peter awaits him. St. Peter asks who he is.

The Pope: "I am the pope."

St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."

The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."

St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."

The Pope: "But I am t...

The Trophy Maker (OC - long)

Old Rick Giuseppe was a fifth-generation trophy maker – like his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great great grandfather before him. Alas, Old Rick Giuseppe’s wife had died a few years ago, and the man lived in solitude, apart from a cat named Jeffery, who was his late wife’s belove...

"Nobody is going to tell me how many people I can have for Thanksgiving"

Jeffery Dahmer

[OC] I just spent my morning break writing this joke.

Jeff had spent most of his adult life in prison for a string of drug offenses and theft. He is finally being released at 28 years old after a decade in prison.

He approaches his jailhouse lover, Vince, a former English teacher and schoolboy fondler. Vince was a little sad to say goodbye, and...

Up next on CNN

Up next on CNN, Jeffery Toobin massages the news.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

One day the Emperor decided he wanted to find the best samurai in the world.

So he sent his men around the world, and they came back with three potential options: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai and a Jewish samurai.

The emperor held tryouts to see which was best. First, he brought in the Japanese samurai. As the Japanese samurai strode into the great Hall and a...

The best advice my mom ever gave me: “if you want something done right, do it yourself....

unless you’re Jeffery Epstein.”

You know who didn’t die from the corona virus?

Jeffery Epstein

You know who ate Five Guys before it was cool?

Jeffery Dahmer.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because agent seven killed Jeffery Epstein.

Eddie Murphy once said a good joke needs two things; proper timing and good execution.

That must be why all the Jeffery Epstein jokes are only half funny.

It's true

A man is driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he...

Roses in a Vase, Violets on a Shelf

Jeffery Epstein did not kill himself

What hangs around while you’re asleep?

Jeffery Epstein

What are three things that don’t hang themselves?

Picture frames, drywall & Jeffery Epstien.

More bad news for the coal industry

Hundreds of minors out of work since the arrest of Jeffery Epstein.

Epsteins victims were seeking justice

But were left hanging with Jefferys death.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The amazing machine

One day, Jeffrey complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."
"Don't do that! There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything, quicker and cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem ...

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mom are having dinner.

Jeffey's mom looks over at him and says "Jeff I don't like your friends". Jeffery then replies "You can eat the potatoes".

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