Jeffrey and Hillary were both patients at a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jeffrey suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there. Hillary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jeffrey out.

When the Head Nurse became aware of Hillary's ...

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar...

...and walk right out because it's 18+

If your surprised that Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide this morning

Imagine how surprised he must have been.

What do Jeffrey Epstein and Halloween decorations having common?

They don’t hang themselves.

Happy Halloween

What do Jeffrey Epstein and Christmas lights have in common?

They both get turned on by children.

Why did Jeffrey Epstein's English teacher fail him?

Because he never finished his sentences...

Why was CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin jacking off on a Zoom call?

Because last month they switched over from WebEx.

Jeffrey Dahmer and Armie Hammer are eating Ronald McDonald

Armie asks, "does this taste funny to you?" Jeffrey responds, "I think it's ginger."

Bill Cosby walks out of prison...

..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.

He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.

Did you hear that Bill Clinton got on Jeffrey Epstein's plane 25 times......

and got off 50 times.

I’m gonna dress up as Jeffrey Epstein for Halloween and crash some parties

I just really don’t wanna hang by myself

What did Jeffrey Dahmer keep in his shower?

Heads and Shoulders.

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer keep a blender on his front porch?

So he could greet visitors with a handshake.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer call the guy that ran from him?

Fast food.

If you are surprised that Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide

Imagine how surprised he might have been.

One of the last things Jeffrey Epstein said to the guards was - "high five!"

But they just left him hanging

Jeffrey Toobin wanted to sue over his CNN suspension

But his lawyers said it would not stand up in court.

How did CNN react to Jeffrey Epstein's death?

Fake noose!

Jeffrey Dahmer was eating five guys

Before it was a restaurant.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bernie Sanders, Bill Clinton and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar

Hillary Clinton: "This is the worst game of fuck, marry, kill I've ever played."

I heard that Jeffrey Epstein never wanted to be rich and famous.

All he ever wanted was to settle down and have kids.

Jeffrey Dahmer walks into his local used furniture store with a sofa.

"It might have some stains." He mutters sheepishly.
"Come again?" Inquires the hard of hearing store manager.
"Some blood as well this time."

Jeffrey Epstein worked on the upcoming "Cuties" movie

He was an executed producer

I've decided to become a professional Jeffrey Epstein impersonator, don't try to talk me out of it!

I know it is career suicide.

Why would Jeffrey Epstein make a bad musician?

Because he would spend all day fingering A Minor

What is Jeffrey Epstein’s favorite killstreak in Call of Duty?

The Predator Missile.

Why is Jeffrey Epstein bad at races?

He always comes in a little behind

What were Jeffrey Epstein's last words?

But I dont want to commit suicide

I met Jeffrey Epstein once. It was only a brief interaction, but I can recall that I offered him some cheddar cheese and he didn't like it.

I think it was too mature for him.

What do Jeffrey Epstein and Qasem Soleimani have in common?

Neither killed themselves

What do you call reports that Jeffrey Epstein didn’t actually hang himself but instead was murdered?

Fake noose.

BREAKING : Prison guard responsible for watching Jeffrey Epstein killed in tragic house fire

Time of death was 11:26am, tomorrow.

How do you know when its time for bed in Jeffrey Epstine house?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

Alan Dershowitz has defended O.J. Simpson, Jeffrey Epstein, and Donald Trump

The stabber, the nabber, and the grabber

Remembering the life of Jeffrey Epstein...

He touched so many. He will surely be missed.

What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and a Whiskey Connoisseur?

Only one thinks it gets better with age.

What's the difference between Jeffrey Epstein and Christmas ornaments?

The ornaments can be rehung again next year.

Jeffrey Epstein plays mmo for...

Sui side quests.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeffrey Epstein may be going to Hell...

But he still got his 72 virgins.

Jeffrey Epstein went to hell

Jeffrey Epstein went to hell after his death and met the devil who told him what his punishment is going to be.

"You see these people lined up with boxing gloves? You will be made to spread your legs so that they can hit you below the belt. I am surprised many have volunteered. You must have ...

If I have to see one more Jeffrey Epstein joke I'm literally gonna kill myself

Unlike Epstein who as we all know was murdered

Jeffrey Epstein dies and goes to Hell.

Satan sees him at the gates.

Satan yells "Hey Jeff, how's it hanging?"

During his questioning, Jeffrey Epstein revealed that he would never abduct a child named Scott.

All of his clients got off Scott free.

Ted Bundy asks Jeffrey Dahmer you got any ice cream in the freezer?

Nah, just Ben and Jerry Jeffrey replies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am currently investigating a possible link between Jeffrey Epstein and Osama Bin Ladin.

I mean where else would Bin Laden get the 72 virgins he was always talking about?

Honestly, I found what happened to Jeffrey Epstein really sad...

So many powerful friends that could have helped and, instead, they all let him hang out to die.

Why did Jeffrey Epstein love Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven?

...Cause it's in A minor.

The GP calls Jeffrey into his office.

Jeffrey says: ‘I slept with my girlfriend’s sister and I’m afraid I have an STD.’

‘Don’t worry’ says the doctor ‘we all make mistakes.’

Yeah I know but that’s not the biggest problem, I think I passed on to my girlfriend.’

‘Dammit so now we all have it!!’

Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump see a cute 14 year old girl

Epstein: I’d love to screw her.
Trump: Out of what?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How do you know Jeffrey Epstein converted to Islam?

He was promised 72 virgins in the afterlife and he just couldn’t wait.

I must say I'm shocked by Jeffrey Epstein's suicide.

How did he get the noose around his chin?

What does Jeffrey Epstein and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both make the kids go “oh no”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Jeffrey Epstein's testicles look like?

Silly question, even a child knows that.

What was Jeffrey Epstein humming before dying?

"All the right moves", One Republic

What was Jeffrey Epstein's Minecraft Server called?

Miner's Welcome.

How are Jeffrey dahmer and mr potato head similar

They keep body parts in there trunk

What were Jeffrey Epstein's last words?

"The encryption codes are hidden behind the Dali painting in the guest bathroom. Hey, I told you what you wan...."

Say what you will about Jeffrey Epstein,

he always drove slower than the speed limit around schools.

What does Jeffrey Dahmer eat for breakfast?

Boys and Berries

What is your most inappropriate, sickest comment on Jeffrey Epstein?

*He died just the way he liked his girls, gagging.*

Attorney General Barr released a summary of Jeffrey Epstein's autopsy findings...

They found no evidence of contusion.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?

"Are you going to eat that?"

Why does Jeffrey Epstein only date 23 year olds

Because there's 20 of them.

How do you get Jeffrey Epstein to install a light bulb?

Tell him it's 12yo and he will screw it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So apparently Jeffrey Epstein owns a couple of the Virgin Islands...

Guess we’ll just have to call them the Islands from now on.

Jeffrey Dahmer once sent me a dinner invitation

But the offer was a me steak.

What's the difference between a pilot and Jeffrey Dahmer?

Jeffrey Dahmer doesn't eat every leg.

What do Jeffrey Dahmer and a helicopter have in common?

They're choppers.

What's Jeffrey Epstein's favorite Beatles song?

"Can Buy me Love"

Rich people use their money and infleunce to avoid standing trials about their crimes

Jeffrey Epstein learnt this the hard way

Netflix tried to get the Jeffrey Dahmer tapes...

...but it was going to cost them an arm *and* a leg.

You know one the main reasons Jeffrey Dahmer got caught was because his freezer stopped working and the smell became so bad the neighbors were complaining.

The cops came to his door and said "We heard you were keeping a bunch of spoiled brats in here"

What did investigators find in Jeffrey Dahmer's shower?

Head & Shoulders

Jeffrey Dahmer didn't like Tic Tacs or gum.

He preferred men toes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was a smoker...

They found a pile of butts behind his couch.

What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite fruit?

Chopped Dates

The Trophy Maker (OC - long)

Old Rick Giuseppe was a fifth-generation trophy maker – like his father, grandfather, great grandfather and great great great grandfather before him. Alas, Old Rick Giuseppe’s wife had died a few years ago, and the man lived in solitude, apart from a cat named Jeffery, who was his late wife’s belove...

The CDC said to refrain from hand shakes.

Jeffrey Dahmer immediately bummed as he turns off the blender

Why did Jeffrey Dahmer move to a larger apartment?

He needed more leg room.

How did Jeffrey Dahmer make alphabet soup?

With 26 characters he met at a party.

What did Jeffrey Dahmer sing as he went to the refrigerator?

My Bologna had a first name.

Jeffrey Dahmer and his mom are having dinner.

Jeffey's mom looks over at him and says "Jeff I don't like your friends". Jeffery then replies "You can eat the potatoes".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeffrey vs. Clown (long)

Jeffrey is a young man growing up in a small, mid-century town. He's a sensitive, bookish type, but overall Jeffrey is a nice guy with a good heart. One day, the circus comes to town. Having nothing else to do (as there was no internet or video games in that time), Jeffrey decides to buy a ticket....

A 15 year old boy turns 16 tomorrow.

He asks his mom for a brand new car so he can drive around, but his mon tells him that if he wants his own car, he'd have to work for it and get it himself.

The mom leaves for work the next morning, and when she comes back that night she sees all the street lights in her cul-de-sac covered in...

Why was Jeffrey Dahmer so healthy?

Because he ate five fruits a day!

Name 3 things that don't hang themselves

Pictures, Drywall and Jeffrey Epstein

Hillary Clinton goes to a gifted-student primary school in New York to talk about the world.

After her talk she offers to answer questions from the kids.

One little boy puts up his hand. Hillary asks him what his name is.

"Kenny," he says.

"And what is your question, Kenny?" she asks.

"I have four questions," he says.
"First -- what happened in Benghazi? Seco...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An 18 year-old Italian girl missed her period for two months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Fer...

News: The CDC has advised no handshakes at this time.

Jeffrey Dahmer: “AWW...” ** STOPS BLENDER* *

Trump's 4th of July 'Salute to America' has bankrupted Washington D.C's Emergency Planning and Security Fund, which is used to provide police and security support at Presidential events.

This throws uncertainty on whether or not the President will be able to hold the annual Turkey Pardoning Ceremony this November, which is expected to feature a Presidential Pardon for Trump's close personal friend Jeffrey Epstein.

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