Ja Jokes - 55 Hilarious Ja Jokes

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a Dutchman are all on a zoom call.

The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks “Can you see me?” and they respond

“Yes”

“Oui”

“Si”

“Ja”

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Hitler dies and goes to the gates of hell...

St. Peter is waiting for him, staring at him, judging him.

Hitler breaks the silence and asks:"Where am I?"

A bit frustrated, St. Peter responds:"Hell, Hitler."

Confused, Hitler asks again:"Ja, ja, Heil Hitler, but where am I?"

Dave Ja Vu

The nagging feeling that somehow, all of this has happened before.

To Dave.

An English man, German, French and Italian are standing at the side of a street watching a street performer

The street performer noticed that they all have poor eye sight so he asked them whether they can see him and they responded:
"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sì"
"Ja"

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Because Nintendo's beloved character is Japanese, Mario is his LAST name. His first name?

Itsume.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German stop to watch a street performer.

The performer sees them arrive and since they’re at the back of the crowd asks them if they can see properly.

“Yes.”

“Oui.”

“Si.”

“Ja.”

What happened to the beef between 50 Cent and Ja Rule?

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When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle, she was instantly attracted to him and during her questions about his life, she asked him if he had ever had sex. "Tarzan not know sex." he replied.

Jane explained to him what it was.

Tarzan said, "Ohhh...Tarzan use knot hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground.

"Here." she said, pointi...

Can somebody please find Ja Rule?

I need help in making sense of just what happened

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During the War, some German PoWs were working in a field in England when one of them called out to the guard.

By the bank of a nearby river a small boy was screaming for help. His dog had jumped in the river and couldn't get out. The German yelled "I go help, *ja*?". The guard gave him the okay and the German ran and jumped in the river.

In a few moments he had freed the dog from the weed it was tang...

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German...

... are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”

“Oui.”

“Sí.”

“Ja.”

Two Swedish models, Astrid and Ebba, are at a photoshoot

The photographer takes a few shots, takes a minute to switch to a different lens, spends some time adjusting the camera to the new lens, and then resumes.

After he's repeated this process a few times, Astrid gets visibly frustrated with the continual delays to the shoot. She turns to Ebba and...

Ja man, down in da islands, what de call de dew in de morning?

Daylight cum
(Hope I did OK transliterating the Jamaican accent.)

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

4 people go on vacation together.

One of them speaks English, another speaks French, the third speaks Spanish , and the last speaks German. They see a crowd gathering in the street and go over to see what’s going on. There is a performer in the middle of the crowd. He notices that the four are struggling to see him so he stands on a...

A Zimbabwean man, a Malian man, an Equatorial Guinean man, and a South African man, were all walking down the street.

They came up on a street performer, who asked if he was visible.

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Si."

"Ja."

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My friend said he could speak German, French and Scottish.

When I didn't believe him he said: "Ja Oui Bastard."

My younger brother took his life 3 years ago. Always a comedian, here’s his cheesiest joke

Farmesan the dairy farmer is feeling bleu because of a string of falls he's been suffering. He calls up his doctor, Dr. Edam JaColby, and tells him "Doc, I'm in so much paineer!"and schedules an appointment. So Farmesan carephilly stumbles over to the clinic. "You mozzarella needed to see me cause y...

A German man walked into a bar

He waved at the bartender saying "Ja, can I get a martini?"

"Dry?" the bartender asked

"No, just one for now."

Hilda and Olga

are models doing a photo-shoot.

The photographer changes lenses for like the tenth time.

Hilda says "Why does he keep changing the lens?"

Olga says "He wants to focus."

Hilda says "Okay but first we must take the photos, Ja?"

A Jamaican, a Haitian, a Dominican and an Aruban went to Carnival.

Before the dancing girl began her set, she asked if the guys could see her.

"Yes." "Oui." "Si." "Ja."

Hans, Is That You?

The Germans and Americans were reaching a stalemate in WWI.
In World War I there was trench warfare, and neither the Americans nor the Germans could get the upper hand. They were reaching a stalemate. One day, an American came up with a plan that would win them the war. This private explained his...

An Englishman, A Frenchman, A Spaniard and A German go to a magic show

They arrive late so all the seats were taken. The 4 gentlemen decide to stand in the narrow walkway at the back, one behind the other.

The Magician on stage notices them standing there, and asks the gentlemen:

"Can you all see me from there?"

So the gentlemen reply in or...

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- I just shot a video in the Far East.

- Japan?
- No, I kept the camera still.

The European Union is proposing to build a public toilet in Brussels.

They put the job out to tender. They get in 3 responses.

First in is Hans from Germany. He gets straight to the point. "I'll build it for €30,000."
The Eurocrat behind the desk looks up from his note pad. "Can you give us some more detail, Hans?"
"Ja! €10,000 labour, €10,000 m...

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What's the best pan to make sushi in?

Japan.

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I got chatting to this girl online once, we swapped nudes.

"Ja Ja Ja!" she wrote.

"Oh, you're German?" I asked.

My face when she wrote "Spanish"

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The 10 Commandments

So an Archangel comes from heaven to give humanity these nifty new commandments from God.

First he goes to the French and says:

"I have new Commandments from God, would you like to hear them?"

"Ah, oui? What do zey say?"

"For example: Thou shalt not commit adultery"
...

An American, Frenchman, Israeli, Spaniard, and a German are on a video call. Their boss logs in and starts the meeting by askng "How's my connection, can everybody see me alright?" They answer:

"yes", "oui", "ken", "si", "ja"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, A Spaniard and a German go to the theater to watch a mime show.

The men have bad eyesight so they are squinting through the whole performance.
The mime sees their problem and stops the show and moves them to the front row. He then ask, "Can you see me now?"
The men Respond:
YES
OUI
SI
JA

[long] Grandpa tells his stories of his time in the war

Susie's fifth-grade class was studying history, and she got permission to bring her grandfather in to class so they could hear his stories of being a wartime fighter pilot over Germany.

"We were the best fighter squad, given all the most dangerous missions," he told them. "Once, Jerry caught ...

A Dutchman and an Englishmen meet in a beach bar on holiday.

The Dutchman speaks hardly any English and the Englishman, inevitably, even less Dutch, but they still enjoy each other's company and knock back a few beers together. After a while the Englishman manages to get across a question: "what is it that you do for a living?"

The Dutchman says carefu...

What do you call it when a ghost feels like it’s haunted the same house before?

De ja Boo!

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are in a carnival

Watching a juggler juggle 4 burning fire brands. He notices that the four are quite short and are on their tiptoes just to be able to have a glance at his juggling skills.

Being the showman, he jumps on to a large wooden box while still keeping the firebrands juggling and asks, "Can y'all ge...

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man that looks like Adolph Hitler

sitting at the end of the bar. He walks up to him and asks "are you really Hitler?" The man stands up and says loudly, "Ja, ich bin Adolph Hitler. I killed 6 million Jews and 1 Mexican." The man says, "wait, why did you kill a Mexican?" Hitler says "Sehen Sie! See? That is what i mean, no one cares ...

What did the Jamaican guy say to the Mexican guy when he asked him if he likes ham?

Ja món

A bar walks into Albert Einstein.

See, all motion ees relative, ja?

An american farmer visits Germany

In a rural area he comes across a small village bar. He goes in and orders himself a drink, when he notices the man next to him also looks like a farmer.

"Are you a farmer?" he asks the man.

"Ja, I am a farmer" the man replies.

"How big is your farm?" the...

German life guard joke

A group of tourists were on a boat in hamburg when the engine exploded and created a fire in the bottom of the boat.

They quickly called up the German coast guard for the German Life. Who answered with "Ja, Hallo, dis is ze German Coast Guard, How can i help you?

They responde...

What do you call a catholic ninja?

A nun-ja

What did the black guy say to the chef?

What Ja-maican?

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An american, a german and an argentinian are sitting in a room.

The american, to assert dominance, out of nowhere says, "My country created the best space rocket, that got us to the moon first. That makes me better than you."

The german exclaims, "Ja, I clean my ass with your rockets." And he follows, "My country created tanks, an unbeatable force in bat...

An Englishmen, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are watching a street magician perform his routine from a good distance away. Half way through, the magician looks around and notices how far away the men are and asks, "Can you see me ok?"

"Yes"
"Oui"
"Sí"
"Ja"

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Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the foll...

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What do Japanese people say when someone takes their panties?

"Those aren't ja-panese!"

My 11 year old just said she made this up. I had to share.

In the wake of Hurricane Dorian, President Trump names a new Disaster Assistance Ambassador to The Bahamas. "He's the best. He'll do a great job, believe me." the President said.

Ja Rule reportedly accepted the position via Twitter.

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What do you call a strange but familiar, unexplainable feeling in your anus?

Gay-ja-vu

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My little brother made this joke up when he was about 10: Although Japanese people used to wear kimonos...

Nowadays you often see them wearing Ja-pants.

A French sniper, bored with the endless stalemate, has a clever idea

Lots of German soldiers are named Hans, a common name. So he gets in position and calls out "Hey, Hans!" A head pops up. "Ja?"

Bang! The Frenchman shoots him dead. It works! The next few days, he goes up and down his trench, racking up his kill count.

After a few days, a German officer...

A Frenchman, a German, and a Russian are arguing about cars.

The Frenchman says: We use the Renault for travel inside our country, and the Peugeot when we travel outside the border.

The German says: Ach, ja! We do that too! We use the Volkswagen for travel inside our country, and the Mercedes when we go to foreign countries.

The Russian then say...

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slotermeyer?

Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!

Helping your neighbour South African Style

Hello, is this the South African Police?”
“Eish-Yes. What you want?”
“I’m calling to report my neighbour, Hendrik van der Merwe! He is hiding dagga (Cannabis) inside his firewood.”
“Eeeh-Yes…Thank you for your co-operasheen and informasheen in combating crime and violence, in our society su...

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Creation of the German-Japanese Alliance, 1940

Hirohito: Thank you for phone call Mr. Fuhrer. We ask you now: you said you Aryans?

Hitler: Ja! Ze superior race! We are invincible! We will abduct your inferior race for our experiments! With our advanced weaponry we will take over zis world!

Hirohito: Very well. No more question. Th...

An American, an Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German walk into a bar...

...and don't order a thing.

The bartender, concerned that perhaps they somehow didn't notice him through the crowded bar, calls out to them. "I can help you down here!" It's a bit loud, so he calls out again. This time, the gang responds.

"Yes!"
"Oui!"
"Si!"
"Ja!"

Four friends are touring Europe...

One is English, one is French, one is Spanish, and the last one is from Germany. In Paris, they see a group gathered around a street performer. After several minutes of trying to see with no avail, he notices them trying to see him and stands on a box and shouts to the four friends, "Can you gents i...

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