Two doctors in practice in a small town clinic in Bluebell had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit. They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her.

She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.

"Why, we just hired her?"

"Well, I think she is dyslexic and does things backwards. I told her to give Mr. Smith two shots of morphine every 24 four hour, bu...

Socialism sounds great in theory...

But in practice, you just gonna get couped by the CIA.

In theory, theory is the same as practice.

But in practice it isn't.

Why were kamikaze flyers a bad weapon?

Because all the good ones died in practice.

You know, just based on my “relationship resume,” on paper, I’m a great catch!

In practice, however, I’m more catch and release.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A product manager was asked by his son about his work. The father says, "My job is all about the difference between theory and practice." The child didn't understand, so the father said, "Let me give you an example:"

"Go ask your sister if she'd sleep with the neighbor for £1M". Kid goes, returns & says "she's not too happy to but she will for times are tough."

Then the father said: "Now go ask your mom that question" so the child goes, returns and says: "Mom's is not too happy to sleep with the neigh...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A boy asks his dad about the difference between theory and practice.

So the dad tells him to go and ask his sister, mother, and grandmother whether or not they would be willing to sleep with a man for 1 million dollars.

The boy asks his grandmother who says "for much less"

Then his mother who says "beats sleeping with that broke son of a bitch you call ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tax inspector marries a woman who was already married 6 times. First wedding night...

"Dear, please be careful, I'm a virgin!"

- No way! There were six spouses now?

"I'll explain everything to you.

My first husband was a psychiatrist. He was just talking about sex. Theoretically. Never did it in practice.

My second husband was a gynaecologist. He was just...

The marching contest

Three countries were having a marching contest. America, Spain and Russia. They had 3 weeks to prepare.


The Russian soldiers marching was perfect. They were all in time, with great rhythm.


The American soldiers were also close to immaculate.


But, the Spanish soldi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A heavily injured man is laying bleeding in the floor.

Two rookie paramedics, Jay and Bill, are the first responders and rush to his side.

"Shit, there's so much blood, what do we do?" Says Jay.

"I don't know, I've never done this in practice before, I've only ever went by the book." Bill replies.

"Well, what does it say in the boo...

An elderly couple, a priest, and a doctor walk into a bar

As they are sitting down and drinking, they eventually start talking about conception and the question of “when does life begin”.

The priest said in the Bible it states that life begins at conception Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you”. This is God’s word so it is true.<...

So I was talking with a dentist...

...and I asked if he had any crazy stories from his years in practice.

"Yes, actually. One time I cut a man's arm off."

"What, how!?"

"I could trouble you with the details, but I really just did it acciDENTALly."

A base-12 number system is good in theory

but it dozen stand a chance in practice.

A lawyer is waiting in a long queue.

He feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders. He turns around. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm a chiropractor, I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting."

"Well, I'm a lawyer, but do you see me screwing the guy in front of me?

There was once this man in the army training with his fellow soldiers

They were all training in practice combat and everyone needed to stand in line and wait to get their fake weapons. Everyone was given dummy rifles, dummy knives, dummy guns, and all sorts dummy weapons to practice fighting with except for John, the last person in line. They told him they ran out of ...

I just can't find any good doctors...

EVERY one of them is still in practice.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.