Last two years I spent time impersonating a Federal Agent. Nobody gave me trouble when they saw me, including the police.

Then I turned 8 and decided I wanted to be an astronaut instead.

I can't believe I was arrested for impersonating a politician!

I was just sitting there doing nothing!

My girlfriend told me I had to stop impersonating a flamingo

That's when I really had to put my foot down.

There are serious injustices that have not been corrected in this world.

For example, beating up a white guy will get you much more prison time than beating up a black guy.

After all, Assault can get you up to 25 years, while impersonating a policeman will get you 5 at most.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friends keep telling me to stop impersonating butter.

But I can't. I'm on a roll now

Guy is rolling down the sidewalk in a desk chair

He has a laptop under one arm, a phone under the other. A portable printer on his lap. He has a small wastepaper basket on his head. A swingline stapler in his shirt pocket

Cop spots him and says "what do you think you are doing?"

"Impersonating an office, sir."

I must admit, my arch-nemesis did a good job impersonating me...

...Indeed, he was a worthy faux.

In recent news, a man who was charged with impersonating a hay stack

Has been bailed

Breaking :A man was arrested yesterday for impersonating a helium balloon.

A spokesperson for the police said.. We held him for a while and then let him go..

Why was Sean Connery wearing pointy ears on stage in Las Vegas?

He was impersonating Elvish.

My mate wears the same jacket when he's impersonating either Matt Damon or Hugh Jackman.

Maybe he's Bourne with it, maybe it's Wolverine.

The other day I punched a white dude and got arrested for assault,

Today I punched a black guy and got arrested for impersonating a police officer.

I’ll admit; my business plan of impersonating and running marathons on behalf of fee paying clients who want prestige without effort, is not going well.

But I’d still give you a run for your money.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend was arrested for beating an unarmed black man to death

He was charged with impersonating a police officer.

After 35 years of carrying a gun and a badge.

I’ve decided it’s time to stop impersonating a police officer.

I found out someone's been impersonating me...

Well two can play at that game.

A policeman arrests a well dressed man in a suit and tie, walking down the Main Street of the city talking on his cell.

The man has a desk strapped to his back, complete with laptop, printer and filing cabinet. He has a dustbin on his head.

“Hold on councillor, I have a policeman trying to arrest me, and I haven’t got a clue why.” He turns and asks “What are the charges?”

“Impersonating an office, Sir”

Dress for the job

A common quote is dress for the job you want, not the job you have.


I've now been arrested for impersonating a Policeman

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Here's a collection of the best/worst dad jokes I know.

"When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo, I had to put my foot down."

"Why are skeletons always so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care."

"Why can't T rexes clap their hands...

21 One-Liners

1. I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.

2. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.

3. My girlfriend started smoking, so I slowed down and applied Lubricant.



4. Don't let an extra chromosome get you down.

5. I ...

The police seem to be making up the law as they go along

I got into a fight with a white man last month, the police intervened and I was charged with assault.

Last night I beat up a black guy, they intervened again and they charged me with impersonating a police officer.

I killed a black guy....

I thought I would get arrest for murder, but I got arrest for impersonating a cop.

What penalty did the guy who said "oink oink" to a cop get?

He got 6 months for impersonating a policeofficer

Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man?

On charges of "impersonating a police officer".

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.