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Hypothetically Jokes

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Driving home after a hard day at work, a man gets pulled over by a cop. His patience is wearing thin.

"Tell me, officer: would it be a crime for me to insult you? Hypothetically speaking, of course - I think the police are wonderful - but in theory, could you arrest me if I said you were a cunt?"

"Yes sir. That would count as disorderly conduct."

"What about if I were just to think it?...

What do you call a hypothetically sliced apple?

A core concept.

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Younger son: Dad, whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?

Son: Dad,whats the difference between 'hypothetically' & 'reality'?

Dad turns to wife: Would you sleep with Tom Cruise for 1 million?

Wife: Of course! I would never waste such an opportunity.

Then Dad asks daughter: Would you sleep Tom Cruise for 1 Million?

Daughter...

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My wife recently asked me: "Hypothetically speaking, if you could have sex with any person in the world, whether real or fictional, who would you choose?"

Apparently, 'Karen' was not the right answer.

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Once there was this judge who just sentenced a man

The man asked the judge,

“Hypothetically, what would happen if I called you a motherfucker?”

The judge answered “If you were to call me a motherfucker, then I would sentence you for contempt to the court and you would spend the night in jail”

“Alright, said the man, but what if ...

A non-smoker says to a smoker "Excuse me, would you mind smoking somewhere else?"

The smoker replied, "Hypothetically, yes."

Two Mormon bishops are going for a walk...

They have been friends for years. One turns and says, "We've been so close for so long. Tell me, hypothetically, if you had two yachts, would you give me one?"

The other bishop says, "Why, you baptised my son! Of course I would give you one!"

"Then tell me, hypothetically, if you had t...

Grass Stains

Two long time friends are in a bar. One says to the other:

"Dude, hypothetically speaking, if you woke up one day in the middle of the woods with a raging hangover, no idea how you got there, grass stains round your knees, no pants and a sore ass, would you tell your wife?"

Other guys...

Helium walks into a bar.

Or, rather than walks, floats; for helium, at room temperature, is a gas, and thus has no legs with which to walk, and, due to its lighter-than-air nature, does not sink to the ground. The bartender himself is confused, for not only is helium invisible to the naked eye in the absence of another obje...

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A guy starts working on an oil rig in Newfoundland

...he meets the boss of the company, is introduced to his duties and works hard for 3 months. His supervisor is impressed by his work and tells him:

"You've been working your ass off and deserve break, here are the keys to the company car, go into town and have yourself a good time"

Th...

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