In honor of my giant bald spot I saw today: Once there was a priest who had a highly trained parrot. The bird would sit on a perch at the entrance to the sanctuary during weddings. When guests arrived, he would squawk ,"bride's side or groom's side?", then would fly down to the correct pew and pe...
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.
It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?'
She thought for a time and then asked 'Is it on or off?'
The Battle of Three Kingdoms
There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island.
Years ago, I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my then girlfriend and the category was "Entertainment". Just as I asked her, her question - What was Whitney Houston's biggest hit of the 1980's? A masked gunman burst in & fired, hitting her in the chest before fleeing.
I rushed to her side,...
Hey, have you heard of the person who got dumped over playing too much video games?
That's such a trivial thing to Fallout 4.
There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial.
Its all the rage.
A collection of math jokes
A big, muscly man enters the bar, slams the counter and says in a deep voice: I want 10 times more beer than everyone here is having.
The bartender says: Now thats an order of magnitude
An infinite number of mathematicians enter a bar. The first asks for...
A couple goes to the chamber of a marriage counselor...
A couple goes to the chamber of a marriage counselor.
The counselor asks the man, "So, can you tell me what started your problems?"
The man replies. "It started off a trivial thing. I just said to her, "Julia, can you bring me a glass of water?"
The counselor says, "Julia, what ...
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are interviewing for a cryptanlyst position. To understand how they approach a problem, the interviewer asks each of them to solve one plus one.
The mathematician responds first, and says, "It is trivial to prove that a unique solution exists." The physicist goes next, and says "The answer will virtually always lie between 1.99 and 2.01." And finally, engineer says, "It looks to be about two, but let's play it safe and call it three."
April and June were dating...
The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.
As time went by, June got the impressi...
A time traveler comes back from the year 2045
I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...
What's a furry's favourite board game?
Two mathematicians walk into a bar...
The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader
A man visits a zoo
A man visits a zoo and asks to speak to the director about the new "Rent-an-Animal" program. The zoo has fallen on hard times financially, so they decided to rent some of their animals outside the usual visitation hours. Usually its the small, cuddly ones, but this man asks for one of the elephants....
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
A man named Ted is unable to put alcohol down.
His thirst for liquor is unquenchable. All he does every day is drink and drink. Rum, tequila, beer, vodka, he has it all. Doesn't matter how it tastes or looks; he'll down it.
At first it started out at a simple party at Dominc's place. His best bud, Bob, invited him so he couldn't say no. P...
3 Nuns at the Pearly Gates (very mildly NSFW)
3 nuns are in a bus in Colombia, which due to budget cuts breaks it's axle, rolls over, and kills them all. When they come to, they realize that the three of them are in a cloud-filled place standing in front of an elderly man at a dais, behind whom are enormous, gold-plated gates, which at the mom...
Priest and a rabbi in a car accident
A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...
The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.
He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."
there'r female hormones in beer
So I found out there'r female hormones in beer, cause when you drink beer you argue over trivial things, you don't make any sense, you start to cry and you can't drive anymore.
Four strangers travelled together in the same compartment of a European train.
Four strangers travelled together in the same compartment of a European train. Two men and two women faced each other. One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticatead 70 year old lady who was decked out in the finest of furs and jewelry. Next to her sat a beautiful young woman, nineteen years old—wh...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Why do mathematicians never have to pay for sex?
They find getting sum trivial.
Mo' Engineer vs Zen master
Engineer: My heart is filled with depression
Zen master: Young man, your depression is trivial like a single line on a paper, there are still a lot of space you can fill the paper with.
The engineer drew a Peano curve.
Engineer: Master, they say I a...
What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?......