Warning: some trivial animal harm

In honor of my giant bald spot I saw today: Once there was a priest who had a highly trained parrot. The bird would sit on a perch at the entrance to the sanctuary during weddings. When guests arrived, he would squawk ,"bride's side or groom's side?", then would fly down to the correct pew and pe...

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.

It
was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on
Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in
a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear
it?'

She thought for a time and then asked 'Is it on or
off?'

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer are interviewing for a cryptanlyst position. To understand how they approach a problem, the interviewer asks each of them to solve one plus one.

The mathematician responds first, and says, "It is trivial to prove that a unique solution exists." The physicist goes next, and says "The answer will virtually always lie between 1.99 and 2.01." And finally, engineer says, "It looks to be about two, but let's play it safe and call it three."

There is a trend in psychotherapy called Anger Expression therapy where the patient is to express any anger immediately no matter how small or trivial.

Its all the rage.

Trivial pursuit.

Years ago, I was playing Trivial Pursuit with my then girlfriend and the category was "Entertainment". Just as I asked her, her question - What was Whitney Houston's biggest hit of the 1980's? A masked gunman burst in & fired, hitting her in the chest before fleeing.

I rushed to her side,...

What's a furry's favourite board game?

Trivial Fursuit

April and June were dating...

The couple had been together many years, and, as far as one could tell from the outside were very happy together. But June had always felt as though there was something between them, something holding them back- something that April was keeping a secret.

As time went by, June got the impressi...

A time traveler comes back from the year 2045

I encountered a time traveler today. During my self isolation he came to the door dressed in a hazmat suit. I was of course alarmed when I opened the door to such a site. He quickly explained who he was and asked if he could have just a few minutes of my time. I didn't believe anything he was sa...

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There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake....

There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and ...

A man visits a zoo

A man visits a zoo and asks to speak to the director about the new "Rent-an-Animal" program. The zoo has fallen on hard times financially, so they decided to rent some of their animals outside the usual visitation hours. Usually its the small, cuddly ones, but this man asks for one of the elephants....

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I was invited to a party full of vegans, but I wasn't there for very long.

We all sat down on the floor. Somebody brought out Monopoly, Frustration, Scrabble, Chess, Risk, Uno, Checkers, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit and Connect Four.

Everybody in the room suddenly turned to me. The guy that had brought in all these games said, "So, which one shall we play?"

"Erm,...

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Seaman Jack

Seaman Jack joined the navy. When he was little he wanted to become a carrier pilot, then when he was a teenager he figured maybe he was only good for a rear admiral serving on a missile destroyer, and when he barely graduated high school, he decided well maybe he'll just be a sailor.

And the...

Two mathematicians walk into a bar...

The punchline is trivial and is left as an exercise to the reader

Three best friends stumble upon a genie lamp.

As a joke, the first one begins to rub it, and all three are surprised when a genie pops out in full Arabian gear. The genie eyes all three of the awestruck men and nods regally.

"I am a Jinn of the Somali. As you have allowed me to see the outside world once again, I shall grant each of you ...

3 Nuns at the Pearly Gates (very mildly NSFW)

3 nuns are in a bus in Colombia, which due to budget cuts breaks it's axle, rolls over, and kills them all. When they come to, they realize that the three of them are in a cloud-filled place standing in front of an elderly man at a dais, behind whom are enormous, gold-plated gates, which at the mom...

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A man named Ted is unable to put alcohol down.

His thirst for liquor is unquenchable. All he does every day is drink and drink. Rum, tequila, beer, vodka, he has it all. Doesn't matter how it tastes or looks; he'll down it.

At first it started out at a simple party at Dominc's place. His best bud, Bob, invited him so he couldn't say no. P...

The mathematician awakens, and finds another fire in the hallway.

He looks out the door, then goes back to bed. The house ends up burning down, but the physicist and engineer manages to save the mathematician. When asked why he didn't put out the fire, he says: "I saw the fire, I saw the extinguisher, the solution was trivial."

Priest and a rabbi in a car accident

A priest and a rabbi have a fender-bender in the middle of an intersection. They get out to survey the damage, and the rabbi turns to the priest and says, "You know, this is a pretty trivial event, all things considered. I've got some Manischewitz in the car -- how about you and I drink to the frien...

there'r female hormones in beer

So I found out there'r female hormones in beer, cause when you drink beer you argue over trivial things, you don't make any sense, you start to cry and you can't drive anymore.

Four strangers travelled together in the same compartment of a European train.

Four strangers travelled together in the same compartment of a European train. Two men and two women faced each other. One woman was a very wealthy and sophisticatead 70 year old lady who was decked out in the finest of furs and jewelry. Next to her sat a beautiful young woman, nineteen years old—wh...

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Why do mathematicians never have to pay for sex?

They find getting sum trivial.

Mo' Engineer vs Zen master

**One**

Engineer: My heart is filled with depression

Zen master: Young man, your depression is trivial like a single line on a paper, there are still a lot of space you can fill the paper with.

The engineer drew a Peano curve.

**Two**

Engineer: Master, they say I a...

What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?......

Trivial Pursuit.

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