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Scurvy Jokes

Did you know blind people are more likely to get scurvy?

They don’t get enough vitamin see.

Scurvy.

Resistance is fruit aisle.

What do you call a left leaning pirate with scurvy?

A bleeding-gum liberal

Why do Chinese pirates never get scurvy?

Because they all speak Mandarin

Why don't pirates travel on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy?

His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*.

Why don’t pirates like writing in cursive?

Because it’s scurvy

So i know a guy who used to be a sailor.

Now he stays at home, and his wife seems to be discontent with him. So a few weeks ago, he got scurvy. I wondered, "what could possibly give him scurvy? He can just go to the store to get some produce! He's probably got food at home!"

Turns out he was trapped in a fruitless marriage.

Why did the 1920's gangster get scurvy?

NYAH, 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T TAKE HIS VITAMIN, SEE!

Why did the internet pirate get scurvy?

He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day;

Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy.

What kind of oranges do sailors eat to fight off scurvy?

Navel oranges

Why did pirates never sail down the River Thames?

'Scurvy

Are you a Pirate but afraid of Malware?

Avast, ye scurvy dogs

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is a pirate dick different from a regular dick?

‘Scurvy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite Pirate joke my dad always tells

A young pirate is talking to an older pirate and he says, "wow how did you lose your hand?" pointing at the pirates hook.

"Arrr me young lad twas fighting off some scurvy attackers trying to take me ship and in the sword fight I got me hand cut off."


"Well how did you lose your leg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking down to the docks to check out his new boat.

As he approaches he sees a honest to goodness pirate ship docking nearby. He is beside himself when he sees the most stereotypical pirate hobbling off the boat.

The pirate has a red bandana, a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch. The man can't help himself, he has to talk to the guy.<...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do pirates like thick bitches?

They like their girls a little scurvy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFWish] A boy was walking along the docks one day and came across a pirate ship...

He looked up and admired, in complete amazement, the beauty of the massive ship with all of the details and marks of a real life pirate ship. As if this wasn't enough, the boy then noticed a man sitting by the ship with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. He went up to the man an...

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