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Scurvy.

Resistance is fruit aisle.

Why do Chinese pirates never get scurvy?

Because they all speak Mandarin

What do you call a left leaning pirate with scurvy?

A bleeding-gum liberal

Did you hear about the Pirate suffering from scurvy?

His attempts to cure it were *fruitless*.

Why don't pirates travel on mountain roads?

'Scurvy

Why did the 1920's gangster get scurvy?

NYAH, 'CAUSE HE DIDN'T TAKE HIS VITAMIN, SEE!

Why don’t pirates like writing in cursive?

Because it’s scurvy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking down to the docks to check out his new boat.

As he approaches he sees a honest to goodness pirate ship docking nearby. He is beside himself when he sees the most stereotypical pirate hobbling off the boat.

The pirate has a red bandana, a peg leg, a hook for a hand and an eyepatch. The man can't help himself, he has to talk to the guy.<...

What kind of oranges do sailors eat to fight off scurvy?

Navel oranges

Why did pirates never sail down the River Thames?

'Scurvy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How is a pirate dick different from a regular dick?

‘Scurvy

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My favorite Pirate joke my dad always tells

A young pirate is talking to an older pirate and he says, "wow how did you lose your hand?" pointing at the pirates hook.

"Arrr me young lad twas fighting off some scurvy attackers trying to take me ship and in the sword fight I got me hand cut off."


"Well how did you lose your leg...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFWish] A boy was walking along the docks one day and came across a pirate ship...

He looked up and admired, in complete amazement, the beauty of the massive ship with all of the details and marks of a real life pirate ship. As if this wasn't enough, the boy then noticed a man sitting by the ship with a peg leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. He went up to the man an...

So i know a guy who used to be a sailor.

Now he stays at home, and his wife seems to be discontent with him. So a few weeks ago, he got scurvy. I wondered, "what could possibly give him scurvy? He can just go to the store to get some produce! He's probably got food at home!"

Turns out he was trapped in a fruitless marriage.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day;

Teach a man to fish, and a month later he dies of scurvy.

Are you a Pirate but afraid of Malware?

Avast, ye scurvy dogs

My favorite pirate joke

A pirate walks into a bar. He sits down to reveal he has a sheath on his hook hand. He turns to the man sitting next to him and says, "Arr, I be bettin you I can eat me own hook." The man, thinking this is just some crazy pirate man, takes the bet. The pirate then removes to sheath from his hook to ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do pirates like thick bitches?

They like their girls a little scurvy.

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