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Bustle Jokes

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My favourite joke to perform. Terrible accent recommended.

Pierre, zee French fighter pilot is with his amour.

"Oh, Pierre, I want you to kiss me", she exclaims.

And so he tilts her chin up and leans in, but just before he plants a kiss on her lips, he pours a little red wine on them, and then goes in for the kiss.

"Oh, Pierre, mon di...

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A big city lawyer is tired of the hustle and bustle so decides to buy a ranch in the middle of nowhere

On the ranch, weeks go by without the lawyer seeing a soul. Finally a lone cowboy comes riding up to the place. The two men talk for a while and the cowboy invites the lawyer to a party at his place.

The lawyer asks, "What kind of party is it?" The cowboy replies, "Well, there's going to be a...

A man feels burnt out by his busy city life, and decides to vacation as far away as possible from the hustle and bustle.

He finds himself in a cozy cabin just outside of a small, remote Alaskan town. For a few days he marvels at the serenity of the forest. He fishes, he hikes, he naps blissfully while listening to the trees sway. But by the middle of the week, he begins to get bored, and goes to town.

Checking...

A family of potatoes sat down to dinner...

...There was a mom potato, dad potato, and three daughter potatoes. The oldest daughter potato said "I have exciting news! I'm getting married!"

The family bustled with excitement. "We're so happy for you!" said dad potato, "who is the lucky fellow?"

"He's an Idaho potato," said the el...

We're all equal here...

A Very Important Man passes away and goes to heaven. There's a long line at the gates, but he is not used to waiting in any lines, so he just walks past the line and up to the gates. St. Peter looks at him sternly and says "We're all equal here; return the end of the line."

So the Very Import...

A Scotsman goes to London

One day, a Scotsman traveled to the big city. He was impressed by all of the shops, tall buildings, and the bustle of city life. At one point, he came upon a storefront with a sign that read:

-Shirts: £3
-Trousers: £5
-Suit Coats: £10

"O'ch, that's a screaming good deal!" the Sc...

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Rich old man prepares for his death

A rich old man was on his deathbed. He knew he was soon to depart this world, but he could not bear the thought of leaving his wealth behind.

So he summoned his wife and instructed her to visit the bank, withdraw a large amount of cash, and stash it in the attic in a burlap sack. "I'll just g...

Four strangers find themselves chatting on a bus ride away from New York City

They talk for a while about who they are and why they’re leaving the city. There’s a loud and charming man looking for a new start away from the big city, a contortionist tired of all the hustle and bustle, a quiet girl who gave no explanation on her past, and a woman pregnant with triplets trying t...

A man is walking along the beach when...

...he trips over an antique lamp. A genie pours out, ominous and towering. "Thank you, kind soul," the genie says, "I have been trapped in that lamp for so long. You're a gentleman and a scholar for freeing me."

"I'm no such thing," says the man, "I'm a simple man with simple needs."

"...

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The business man who moved to [nsfw]

A high powered business man moved to the mountains to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life.

For months the only person he saw was the man who delivers his mail.

After 8 months there came a strange knock on the door, when he opens the door, there stood a giant man with a hu...

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A man moves out to the country....

City Joe moves out to the country to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. After purchasing some ranch land he surveys the area from his front porch. Up his driveway rumbles an old pick up truck. Out steps a middle aged man in a cowboy hat and wranglers.

"howdy", he says, "ya see ...

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Mountain Man

Well Tom was a high powered business man and successful stock market trader, but he sure was fed up with life in the fast lane of New York City. Fed up with the hustle and the bustle. Fed up with the fickle market. But one night, sipping scotch, he realized that the root of all his problems was PEOP...

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A tenant goes to the landlord and tells him there are mice in his apartment

-I know these kinds of hoaxes, it wont work on me, but let me see those "mice" you're talking about - says the landlord.

So they go to the apartment that is right on the top of the building, they open the door and ... no mice whatsoever.

The landlord angrily asks the tenant why he so b...

A businessman decides to leave city life behind.

He had spent his entire career working late hours at a stressful job for bosses he hated and decides to give it all up. So he buys a large ranch in central Montana and spends his days raising livestock, maintaining fences, engrossing himself in his new setting. For a time he is content, but weeks pa...

John grew up on a farm

John grew up on a farm in a small town away from the hustle and bustle of the city. His whole life he has been a huge fan of tractors, his curtains and carpets had tractor patterns on, there were posters of John Deere's covering his walls, he even had his parents buy him a waffle maker that makes wa...

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