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Spaniel Jokes

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Cocker Spaniel?!

I hardly *know* 'er spaniel.

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what do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel and a hairstylist's poodle?

A Cocker Poodle Doo!

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If someone ever offers you a Cocker Spaniel...

You should take the Spaniel.

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A Poodle, a Cocker Spaniel & a Great Dane are sitting in a veterinarian's waiting room.

The Great Dane asks, "What are you fellas here for?" The Poodle says, " The other night my owner had his boss and his wife over for dinner. I'd been feeling frisky all day and the wife's leg was looking good, so I jumpd up and started humping the heck out of it. She freaked out, my owner was furiou...

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I was hiking in the woods with the famed scatologist, Diedre Oppings,

when we came across a brown mass.

"Bear?", I asked.

"No, clearly canine," she replied. She poked at it with a stick. "I think, a cocker spaniel mix, with..." She took a deep sniff. "Ah yes, poodle."

"You mean...?"

"Yes," she replied. "It's cocker poodle doo."

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My friend just got this new dog. I went round to see it. It's one of those crosses, half spaniel, half poodle. Real cute but not housetrained yet.

I kept stepping in cockerdoodledoo.

I walked in on my neighbor in his boxer…

Which is really surprising, since in all the years I’ve known him, he’s preferred spaniels.

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What do you call a dog that clucks like a chicken?

A cock-er spaniel

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A boy with a speech problem goes shopping.

(Sorry in advance for grammar mistakes)


There was a young boy with a speech problem, so he used to say words incorrectly.

One day, his mother asked him to go to the shops to get a bun, a bucket, and a cocker spaniel. So he went to the baker and says "Can I have a bum please?"
...

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How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb?

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!...

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The American Kennel Club has recognized new dog breeds.

* Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter. Great for Christmas.
* Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer. Smells like fresh mountain dog.
* Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabrador. Won't stop barking.
* Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere. A dog that's true til the end.
* Terrier...

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I saw a woman taking her pet for a walk

But I couldn't tell if it was a dog or a rooster.

I walked up to her and said "excuse me, can I ask what kind of pet that is?"

The woman replied "he's a cocker spaniel"

So I guess she didn't know either.

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A man with a speech impediment is out and about...

Firstly, he enters a bakery and asks: "Can I buy this bum?", The baker says 'Uh, don't you mean bun?", He replies "Yes I'll have one of those please'

Secondly he goes to a carpentry store and asks: "Have you got a fuck-it?", the carpenter says "Do you mean a bucket?". "Yes I'll have one of t...

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One of the jokes I remember a friend telling me when I was a kid.

So there's this guy who can never say anything right.

He goes to the pet store with the intention of buying a Cocker Spaniel, but when he walks up to the store clerk, he says "Do you have a cock for sale?"

The woman says, "I'm sure you mean a Cocker Spaniel sir." And she hands him a ...

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A young boy has a speech impediment

And decides to go to the grocery store to buy some gum. He walks in, and says "Hello, I would like to buy some bum please." The grocer asks him to repeat what he is looking for. The boy does, and the grocer realises that the boy is looking for gum, and send him down the correct aisle.

The boy...

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The little boy who couldn’t speak some words right

Today was a young boy’s birthday. His mother gave him money to spend on this special day. So he goes to the near by stores near his home.
The first store he enters was general store. He tells the clerk,” May i buy this bum and fuket?” The clerk looks confused but then realise he pointing at the g...

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A man with a speech impediment is walking along the road

He goes into a hardware store and asks the clerk "do you have a bum and fuck it?" the clerk replies "No,but we have a bucket!" so the man buys it. Later on he heads into a pet store and he asks the clerk "do you have a cock and spank it?" the clerk replies " No, but we have a cocker spaniel!" The ma...

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A man with a speech impediment has some errands to run,

He walks in the grocery store and asks the clerk, "Where are your butts?"

Clerk: "My what?"

Man: "You know, the things you put hot dogs in?"

Clerk: "Oh you mean buns! They're over here."

Next the man heads to the hardware store. He walks up to the clerk and says, "Where c...

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Lost In Translation

Jannik had just arrived to america and could only speaker German, but he was staying with a friend who was teaching him English. After a few days his friend feels he has learned enough and sends Jannik on some errands to test out his English. First Jannik goes to the bakery down the street and order...

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A man that couldn't speak properly goes to run some errands [long]

His first stop, the bakery. The man fronts up to the counter, and asks the owner, "may I have a bum, please."
Perplexed, the owner asks, "a bum, sir? Sorry, we don't sell those, but we do have buns."
"Yes, that is what I meant, sorry."

After completing his first transaction, the man wal...

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A man with a speaking problem walks into a bakery...

A man with a speaking problem walks into a bakery, and asks the chef ''May I please have a bum?'' the chef has no idea what he means, so suggests ''Did you mean bun?'' The man nods and buys a bun.

The man then walks into a hardware store, ''One fuckit please!'' he exclaims. The shop owner is ...

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A man with a speech impediment goes shopping

A man with a speech impediment goes to the shops with his cocker spaniel to buy some things he needs around the house. He first visits a hardware store, tying the dog up outside. Upon arriving, he asks where he can find the "fuckets". The lady asks if he means "buckets", to which he replies "Yef, th...

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