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Hooting Jokes

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Brakes

A Boy was having sex with a girl on a Railway track.

The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it.

He applies brakes hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple. The train driver jumps and walks to the boy who had just finished and was standing ...

Zoo gorilla

A gorilla, one of the local zoo's most popular animals, suddenly dies one day. The zoo owner is afraid of what this might do to ticket sales, so he devises a plan: He hires a man to put on a gorilla suit and pretend to be the late ape.

So it's the new recruit's first day on the job and he's ...

A group of blondes walk into a bar,

all of them chanting "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They got a table and continued to yell "Twenty-four days! Twenty-four days!" They started hooting and high-fiving each other as well. Intrigued, the bartender walks over to the table and sees a finished child's puzzle with Sesame Street's El...

A pilot crash lands on an uncharted island

He awakens bound by natives, and is dragged to a clearing in front of the tribe. Next to him is a large tree-stump and an absolutely massive native.

The natives are are cheering and hooting wildly, until the chieftain holds up his hand, bringing instant silence and rapt attention.

He b...

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Broke guy walks into a brothel...

Man: "All I have is $20 bucks, what can I get for that?"

Madame: "Fine. Go to door number 5 over there."



He goes to door number 5, and all he sees in there is a chicken. Being horny, and with no one around and having nothing to lose he quickly drops his pants and starts havin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Farmer John and his bull

There was this farmer, Farmer John, who had a prize-winning bull.
Unfortunately, at the beginning of the breeding season, the bull had no interest in mating. Couldn't get it up at all.

Farmer John called Bill the veterinarian to come out and look at the bull. Bill checked the bull all over...

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam" .... (An original LOTR-themed meta-joke for you.)

The hobbits Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, sat in Fangorn Forest to hear the first annual post-Sauron "Ent Comedy Jam."

With them was Gandalf, returned from over Sea with Frodo in tow just for the occasion. No one in living memory – at least now that the elves were all in the Undying Lands to...

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the cops. They pull into a forest and each climb up a separate tree. The cop parks and walks up to the tree with the brunette.

"I know you're up there, get down from there."

Cheep cheep cheep cheep....

He hears the chirping a...

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Jesus at the bar

A British guy with a hunch back walks into a bar, he sits down at the end of the bar and looks over and sees a man who looks like Jesus, he calls the bartender over and asks him "excuse me sir is that Jesus over there?", the bartender says "Why yes it is" the British man says bring him one of your f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What activity does the owl mafia participate in?

Drive by hootings.

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