Hillbillies Jokes - 22 Hilarious Hillbillies Jokes

What do hillbillies do on Halloween?

Pumpkin

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The hillbillies new neighbor

So a guy from the city goes and buys himself a piece of property. He looks it over with the realtor and the realtor leaves and he's just standing there admiring the lake that's on his land and thinking about all the New freedom he has.

A hillbilly comes walking toward him and he's a little su...

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What do you call the moisture between two hillbillies having ?

Relative humidity.

Two hillbillies

were sipping moonshine on the front porch when a truck went past loaded up with rolls of sod.

“I’m a-gonna do that when I win that there lottery”, announced hillbilly #1.

“Do wut?”, asked hillbilly #2

“Send my lawn out to git mowed.”

What do hillbillies call their relatives from past generations?

Their incestors

Came up with it myself. How did I do?

Three hillbillies are at work...

They’ve just been handed their new health benefits plan. Cletus starts reading it and says “Hey Billy-Bob, hey Bubba, check this part out, if we lose a finger at work we get $5000!”

Later that day, Billy-Bob and Bubba cut off Cletus’ finger. They collect their $5000, put the finger in a plast...

Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothin'...

Two Hillbillies are sitting outside the local store gossiping...

The first one says, "Welp, yesterdee muh wife got rear ended on the highway by one of them beer trucks."

The second says, "Shoot. They git 'er good?"

First one says, "Yup. Smashed in 'er backside real good."

The second one says, "What company was it?"

First one says, "Oh ...

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Two hillbillies are walking through the woods...

They come across a pile of dog . One of them says to the other, "I think that's dog ."

"Does it smell like dog ?" Asks the second.

The first bends down to smell it, "Yes."

"Does it feel like dog ?"

The one picks up a piece and sure enough it feels like s...

Two hillbillies are discussing plans for dinner

After throwing ideas back and forth of what to cook, their eyes catch some roadkill on the side of the road. One of them eagerly suggests, "how about Himalayan Woodchuck?"

"Himalayan Woodchuck?" the other hillbilly scoffed. "What in the devil is that?"

"You know," the other says, gestu...

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A guy walks into a bar in West Virginia and orders a white wine.

All the hillbillies sitting around the bar look up from their beer and whiskey,expecting to see some pitiful Yankee from the north.
The bartender says, "You ain't from around here, are ya?"
The guy says, "No, I'm from Canada."
" Canada " The bartender says, "What do you do in Canada?" ...

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Two hillbillies from Alabama are sitting at a bar

There are three young, beautiful women sitting at a table near them. Suddenly, one of the woman stands up and starts choking on her food. Thinking quickly, one of the hillbillies runs over, pulls down her skirt, and gives her a lick on the right buttcheek. The woman is so shocked she coughs up the f...

Hillbillies in the hospital

A hillbilly was visiting the hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. Watching the doctor's every move, he asked, "What's that?"

The doctor explained, "This is an anesthethic. After he gets this he won't know a thing."

"Save your time, Doc," exclaimed the man. "He...

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A hillbilly decides to get his life together

One day 2 hillbillies are sitting on their porch rocking chairs listening to the radio and one of them says, “man there’s gotta be more to life than this, I’m tired of not doing anything useful.” Right then, an ad starts playing on the radio for the local community college. That’s it! The hillbilly ...

Why do hillbillies like sandwiches?

They're in bread

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3 hillbillies ()

3 hillbillies walk in for an interview; find themselves a seat; and wait to be called upon. Eventually, some guy from HR walks in, points at one of the hillbillies and says "You, come with me."

"Now this job is all about attention. I want you to tell me the first thing you noticed when you wa...

What do 24 hillbillies have in common?

One complete set of teeth

Why do hillbillies have such dirty elbows?

because you cant lick yourself there

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Two hillbillies get married and go to the town in the valley for their honeymoon. The next day the man comes back alone.

His pa asks him "where da 'ell your wife?"

The man replies "I 'ad to kill 'er."

"Whadya 'ave to dat fer?"

"She was a virgin. She ain't good 'nuf fer 'er family, she ain't good 'nuf fer mine."

Where do hillbillies like to hang out during the summer?

The shallow end of the gene pool.

2 hillbillies walking through a field.

2 hillbillies are walking through a field when they come across an old well. They start talking to each other asking how deep the well is. One of the hillbillies grabs a nearby shopping cart and tosses it down the well. While they are listening for a splash a billy goat comes charging right at them,...

Two hillbillies run into each other one afternoon...

the first one asks, "Hey bubba, do you want another bottle of that moonshine I hooked you up with last week?" Bubba says,"Hell no! That stuff had me blowing chunks all night long!!"
Puzzled, the 1st hillbilly says, "That's a tried and true family recipe. I've heard of lots of people getting ple...

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