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Country Music Jokes

I almost lost my job as a DJ at a country music station

I accidentally played the same three songs for five hours. Fortunately, our listeners didn't seem to notice.

Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?

Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.

When you listen to rock backwards you hear satanic messages, what do you get when you listen to country music backwards?

Your wife back, your life back, and your dog back.

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

What do you call pop-country music?

Hick-Hop

I don’t like country music but I’m not going to say why because...

I don’t want to denigrate those who do, and for those who do listen to country music, denigrate means put down

A country music star and a renown chemist fell in love, got married, and quickly became pregnant with triplets. When the three girls were born, the happy parents decided to name them...

Jolyne, Jolene, and Jolane

Bring your country music with you to San Francisco.

Be sure to bring your country music with you if you go to San Francisco. They have coin operated toilets and you’re going to need Johnny Cash.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

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What do you call a donkey who is always getting up to mischief, is tall and thin, forgot his morning coffee, is handsome and strong, smells really bad, loves country music, has one eye, and three legs?

A hanky-panky, lanky, cranky, spunky, hunky, stinky dinky, honky tonky, winky, wonky donkey!

Where do country music artists become country music greats?

The obituaries

TIL that Tibetan leaders can issue special forgiveness to buxom country music singers

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

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The worst thing about living in West Virginia is all the country music.

The second worst thing is telling your sister you already have a prom date.

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A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

Music can take you places

Today for example, they put country music on and I went to the next bar.

Technically, national anthems

are just country music

Country music is like a vacuum. . .

As soon as you turn it off it stops sucking.

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A coroner's ass.

A coroner's assistant was going over thier very first body and noticed that there was a rather large cork in the anus. So that assistant gave a tug and the cork popped out. To the assistant's suprise, they started hearing something..."On the road again, i just can't wait to be....." Astounded, the a...

I wish they would stop playing the national anthem before games

I'm not unpatriotic; I just don't like country music.

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With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

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I got a new car radio yesterday

It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yel...

I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom

turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought

I once wrote a very creative and detailed suicide note....

Now I've got a #1 country music song in the U.S.

I am friends with a farmer and his windmill.

One likes country music while the other is a big metal fan.

Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…"

"…country music."

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A juggler gets pulled over for speeding...

The cop approaches and asks “what’s your hurry?”

“Well”, explains the juggler, “I’m running late for a juggling performance”

The officer looks into the empty car, “I don’t see any juggling equipment... how do I know if I can believe you?”

The juggler perks up “well all my stuff...

Boll Weavels

There were two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star.

His brother just stayed home and slept. You could say he was the lesser of two weavels.

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A girl was going to study for her AP exams... [long]

A girl was starting to study for her AP exams, and her parents bought her a new calculator to help her out. The next day, she took the calculator in to class and started using it. The moment she started hitting the keys, she heard a guitar playing country music. Startled, she stopped and put it bac...

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An engineer and a scientist walk into a dive bar....

Smiling, happy, the engineer says, "Bartender, shots for everyone!"

The bartender leans in, confused, "I can tell you're not from around here. Are you sure you want to buy these people drinks?"

The scientist retorts with, "Make 'em doubles!"

The bartender deploys the drinks to e...

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