I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do

And for the people who DO like country music, 'denigrate' means 'put down.'


\- Bob Newhart

When you listen to rock backwards you hear satanic messages, what do you get when you listen to country music backwards?

Your wife back, your life back, and your dog back.

TIL that Tibetan leaders can issue special forgiveness to buxom country music singers

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

What happens when you play a Country music record in reverse?

Your dog ressurects, your wife goes back home, you get your job back and Donald Trump finally leaves office.

Did you hear about the singer who combines country music with rap?

His name is Hot Diggity Dogg

What do calculators and country music have in common?

Both are produced by Texas instruments.

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why don't street gangs listen to country music??

Every time they hear "hoedown!!", they think a prostitute got shot in a drive-by.

What do you call pop-country music?

Hick-Hop

When new self driving cars become mainstream, country music will change

We'll be hearing songs about how my truck ran off

On a wind farm in Texas, one windmill asked the other if they liked country music. The windmill replied.

I’m a big metal fan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

I once wrote a very creative and detailed suicide note....

Now I've got a #1 country music song in the U.S.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A juggler gets pulled over for speeding...

The cop approaches and asks “what’s your hurry?”

“Well”, explains the juggler, “I’m running late for a juggling performance”

The officer looks into the empty car, “I don’t see any juggling equipment... how do I know if I can believe you?”

The juggler perks up “well all my stuff...

Country music is like a vacuum. . .

As soon as you turn it off it stops sucking.

Where do country music artists become country music greats?

The obituaries

When my wife suggested getting a white noise machine for the bedroom, I was initially ok with it.

Then I realized I hate country music.

Technically, national anthems

are just country music

Music can take you places

Today for example, they put country music on and I went to the next bar.

I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.

Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.

Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…"

"…country music."

Boll Weavels

There were two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star.

His brother just stayed home and slept. You could say he was the lesser of two weavels.

Music growing up.

It was always interesting growing up and listening to music in the car. When I was in my mom's car we always listened to country music. With dad driving I heard a never ending stream if talk radio. My favorite though was with grandpa, we would jam out to the turn signal he forgot to turn off since w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl was going to study for her AP exams... [long]

A girl was starting to study for her AP exams, and her parents bought her a new calculator to help her out. The next day, she took the calculator in to class and started using it. The moment she started hitting the keys, she heard a guitar playing country music. Startled, she stopped and put it bac...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got a new car radio yesterday

It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yel...

Two Boll Weavels

There were once two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. They lived in Nashville, TN and both loved country music. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and listen to the radio, so he learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star. Fame and fort...

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