UPJOKE
johnny cashwillie nelsongarth brooksdolly partongeorge straitcowboykenny rogerselvis presleyunited statesbillboardjazzworld war iitejano musicred dirtwestern music

Why can't you improve the efficiency of wind farms by playing country music around them?

Because they're really just big heavy metal fans.

I don’t like country music ...

but I don't mean to denigrate those who do.

And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

-Bob Newhart

A country music star and a renown chemist fell in love, got married, and quickly became pregnant with triplets. When the three girls were born, the happy parents decided to name them...

Jolyne, Jolene, and Jolane

What do you get when you play a country music record backwards?

You get you wife back, your truck back, your dog back...

Is Africa by Toto country music?

No it’s continent music.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a donkey who is always getting up to mischief, is tall and thin, forgot his morning coffee, is handsome and strong, smells really bad, loves country music, has one eye, and three legs?

A hanky-panky, lanky, cranky, spunky, hunky, stinky dinky, honky tonky, winky, wonky donkey!

What happens when you play a Country music record in reverse?

Your dog ressurects, your wife goes back home, you get your job back and Donald Trump finally leaves office.

What do you call pop-country music?

Hick-Hop

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

With the surge in popularity of Country Music artists that have included rap in their songs, like Jason Aldean and Sam Hunt, this years CMA's will include a new category. As it is a hybrid style of genres, Rap and Country, the producers have settled on a fitting name for the award.

CRAP.

TIL that Tibetan leaders can issue special forgiveness to buxom country music singers

It's known as the Dalai Pardon

Did you hear about the singer who combines country music with rap?

His name is Hot Diggity Dogg

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The worst thing about living in West Virginia is all the country music.

The second worst thing is telling your sister you already have a prom date.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes

getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse's rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began pla...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why is there so much "twang" in Country music?

It is the sound a guitar makes after six or seven generations of inbreeding.

I am friends with a farmer and his windmill.

One likes country music while the other is a big metal fan.

I once wrote a very creative and detailed suicide note....

Now I've got a #1 country music song in the U.S.

Music can take you places

Today for example, they put country music on and I went to the next bar.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A juggler gets pulled over for speeding...

The cop approaches and asks “what’s your hurry?”

“Well”, explains the juggler, “I’m running late for a juggling performance”

The officer looks into the empty car, “I don’t see any juggling equipment... how do I know if I can believe you?”

The juggler perks up “well all my stuff...

I was originally ok with my wife getting a white noise machine in our bedroom

turns out falling asleep to country music is harder than I thought

Technically, national anthems

are just country music

Country music is like a vacuum. . .

As soon as you turn it off it stops sucking.

Where do country music artists become country music greats?

The obituaries

Went to a game with my dad today and as we were standing up to sing, the veteran in him kicked in and he began tearing up. I said to him, "You know, technically, national anthems are just…"

"…country music."

Boll Weavels

There were two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star.

His brother just stayed home and slept. You could say he was the lesser of two weavels.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I got a new car radio yesterday

It has voice recognition. You shout "soul" and it plays a soul station. You shout "rock" and it finds rock and roll for you. You shout "country" and it finds country music.
I was enjoying this new technology when some children ran in front of my car, causing me to swerve at the last second. I yel...

I grew up listening to music that demeaned women, glorified violence and normalized criminal behavior. I know it definitely influenced the culture around me.

Thankfully, I stopped listening to country music and found hip hop.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A girl was going to study for her AP exams... [long]

A girl was starting to study for her AP exams, and her parents bought her a new calculator to help her out. The next day, she took the calculator in to class and started using it. The moment she started hitting the keys, she heard a guitar playing country music. Startled, she stopped and put it bac...

Music growing up.

It was always interesting growing up and listening to music in the car. When I was in my mom's car we always listened to country music. With dad driving I heard a never ending stream if talk radio. My favorite though was with grandpa, we would jam out to the turn signal he forgot to turn off since w...

Two Boll Weavels

There were once two brothers that happened to be boll weavels. They lived in Nashville, TN and both loved country music. One brother desired more than just to destroy crops and listen to the radio, so he learned to play guitar. He got so good, he became a successful country music star. Fame and fort...

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