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Hippies Jokes

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

What do you call a hippies' wife?

Mississippi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What is a hippies favorite kind of sex?

Aural

Marijuana is legal and haircuts are against the law.

It took half a century but Hippies finally won.

Why do hippies like exit signs?

'Cause they're way out, man

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Hippies Two Hippies are walking down a railroad track stoned.

One Hippie says "This is a really long fucking staircase!"

The other Hippie says "I don't mind the stairs, it's this low fucking handrail thats killing me."

What vaccine do hippies get?

Astral Zeneca.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Hippies don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags!

How many hippies does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't change it. They follow the burnt-out bulb on tour for the next 50 years.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Woodstock was full of hippies, high-potency drugs and all-day music

At night it was fucking in tents.

What do hippies do?

hold up your leggies.

Why do hippies love Eugene, OR so much?

It’s hard to find work there.

Hippie jokes

Q: How can you tell a hippie has been at your house?

A: He's still there.

Q: What did he say when you told him to leave?

A: Namaste.
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Q: What's the difference between a hippie chick and a joint?

A: The joint won't make it all the way around the ci...

Why do hippies make good accountants?

Because they're from a counter-culture

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do hippies like didgeridoos?

It’s the closest they can get to giving a tree a blowjob.

How do you call three hippies hugging a tree?

A treesome.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Local hippies are boycotting the sex shop.

I guess they have bad vibes.

Time for some Hippie jokes!

What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
Why do hippies wear patchouli?
So the blind can hate them too.
What is orange and red and looks good on a hippie?
Fire.

Why do hippies shop at Ikea?

Because no trees were harmed in the making of their furniture.

Why can't life guards save hippies?

Because they're too far out, man!

Why do old hippies drink Honest Tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Why are most mountain climbers hippies?

Because scalars have no direction

(OC, as far as I know)

Why do hippies wear pachouli??

So blind people can hate them to

Necrophiles and hippies are very similar

Both want peace and love.

Why aren’t lifeguards good at saving hippies?

Because they’re too far out.

What do you call 2 hippies who pass away at the same time?

Tie-Die

What do you call a group of paralyzed hippies?

Organic Vegetables.

What's red and orange and looks great on hippies?

Fire.

Why are hippies against capitalism?

Because money doesn't grow on trees.

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