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Heathens Jokes

A preacher rides into a town in the old west...

As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"

The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of peyote and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW SO I was going down on my girlfriend...

and I said, "Man your pussy is big."

"Man your pussy is big."

She asked why I said it twice, I told her I didn't.

- *Because some of you heathens have never seen Predator.*

I asked my 2 yr old to "give me a minute".

So my 2 y.o. daughter follows me almost *everywhere* around the house. I walked into the bathroom yesterday and sure enough, there she is 5 seconds later. Frustrated, I said, "Can you please just give me 1 minute?" She says, "Huh? Ok." and right when I think she's going to give me a moment of peace ...

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