As he's riding into town, his horse keeps stumbling around the street. The reins are finally grabbed by the Sheriff, who says, "This stallion okay?"
The preacher says, "Yes. We passed through a patch of peyote and he ate some. But that aside, I come to tell you of God's good word, to help you...
4000 YEARS of MEDICINE
2000 BC : Here, eat this root.
1000 AD : That root is heathen! Here, say this prayer.
1865 AD : That prayer is superstition! Here, drink this potion.
1935 AD : That potion is snake oil! Here, swallow this pill.
1975 AD : That pill is ineffective! Here take this a...
The Joy of Sects
A man crossing a bridge sees a suicidal chap about to take a big dive, Thinking he could be the good Samaritan, he stops and calls to the jumper.
GS: "Hey Buddy, Lets talk, Don't do anything rash, life is good, lets find something to talk about, Say tell me friend, are you religious?"
David's life was at a low point.
Seeing no way out, he walked out on a bridge, intending to end it all by leaping off. A woman, driving by in her car, sees David hesitating unsteadily on the wrong side of the railing and realizes what's going on. She stops her car and dashes over, hoping to talk him out of suicide.
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
NSFW SO I was going down on my girlfriend...
and I said, "Man your pussy is big."
"Man your pussy is big."
She asked why I said it twice, I told her I didn't.
- *Because some of you heathens have never seen Predator.*
I asked my 2 yr old to "give me a minute".
So my 2 y.o. daughter follows me almost *everywhere* around the house. I walked into the bathroom yesterday and sure enough, there she is 5 seconds later. Frustrated, I said, "Can you please just give me 1 minute?" She says, "Huh? Ok." and right when I think she's going to give me a moment of peace ...