Hardest Jokes - 59 Hilarious Hardest Jokes

The 3 hardest things to say:

I was wrong.

I need help.

Worcestershire Sauce

Which tea is the hardest to swallow?

Reality

This week in DC, Mark Zuckerberg is currently doing the hardest thing imaginable.

He’s explaining Facebook to old people.

What do you have after the hardest class in school?

The aftermath.

Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?

All the DNA matches and there's no dental records.

What’s the hardest cult to join?

A difficult.

What's the hardest thing about dating a blind woman?

Getting her husband's voice just right

What's the hardest part when your ex tells you she is HIV positive

Trying to act surprised.

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What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

"This is the hardest part of our job," said the police officer after Adam was pronounced dead in the accident.

"Yeah, but break the news slowly. His wife is a very sensitive person."

The police officer knocks on the door and Adam's wife opens it.

"Are you Adam's widow?" said the police.

What's the hardest part of being a vegan?

Waking up at 4.30 am to milk the almonds.

What's the hardest part of maintaining a relationship while being a necrophile?

No matter how hard you try, it all just falls apart

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George claims that his dick is the "Hardest Dick In The World!"

George will pay anyone $5000 cash to anyone who can bring him something absolutely harder than his dick.

One man brings a basketball-sized boulder. George easily smashes the boulder with his dick. The man picks up the boulder pieces and angrily walks off.

A second man brings a ...

What is the hardest thing to chew while eating a vegetable?

The wheelchair

Recently someone asked me what’s the hardest thing I’ve done in college.

I answered “contemplate suicide”. I saw they weren’t laughing so I quickly corrected and said “about 9 inches”. Needless to say my mother didn’t appreciate that answer either.

The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.

The rest are e-z.

Say what you want about Putin but he's the world hardest working president,

He has to run two countries instead of one.

What is the hardest thing to take in a robbery?

Scissors..... Because you can't run away!

Whats the hardest thing about rollerblading?

The floor

What fruit is the hardest to catch?

A mango.

What’s the hardest thing about being a vegan that CrossFits?

Trying to decide which one to tell people about first.

Taking my mother-in-law off her life support was one of the hardest things I’ve done.

I had to fight my wife, two doctors, and a nurse to finally do it.

I recently joined a nudist colony

The first few days were the hardest.

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what's the hardest part about having sex with a monkey?

training it to suck your dick without peeling it

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What is the hardest part of rollerblading?

Telling your parents you're gay.

It is said regarding motivation that “the first step is always the hardest”…

As someone with plantar fasciitis, I could not agree more.

Which mythical creature has the hardest time reproducing?

A Unic- horn.

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What’s the hardest part about having sex with a clown?

Cleaning the grease paint off your back

Please tag this nsfw I forgot how to.

What is the hardest word for a stutterer to say?

I'm gonna guess... "Nicaragua."

What's the hardest part about reading a Veterinarian book?

Putting it down

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The hardest thing about being bisexual

Is trying to remember if I’m suppose to have sex twice a week, or once every two weeks.

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What's the hardest part of being an anti-vax parent?

Scraping those stick family decals off your rear window.

What is the hardest way to lose 6-14 pounds?

Having a baby!

Happy Mother's Day!

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NSFW what's the hardest part of fucking a vegetable?

Putting her back in her wheelchair

People say the first year of marriage is the hardest

Trust me, the last year is way, way harder.

What’s the hardest food to stop eating?

Cold turkey

What is the hardest part about cooking vegetables?

Getting the wheelchair in the oven.

What’s the hardest working profession?

Morticians - after they die, they go back to work one last time!

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The hardest thing about being a pedophile

Is trying to fit in

A sports store is showing off their new punching bags by having a contest to see who can hit them the hardest.

While everyone is waiting for their turn, St. Peter turns to a drunk and says, "I think I'm in the wrong joke."

The drunk replies, "Nope. Just the wrong punch line."

Two pieces or tarmac are in a bar arguing about who's the hardest

A red piece of tarmac then enters the bar and the two other pieces shut right up and start minding their own business. After the bartender serves the red piece of tarmac a drink and it takes a seat he turns to the other two and asks "what was up with you two? I thought you were supposed to be dead h...

I read online that English is one of the hardest languages to learn...

Their's know weigh thats' write!

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A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis are walking down the street talking amongst themselves about who has the hardest life...

The cucumber says, “I have the hardest life. Whenever I get big, thick, and juicy, they chop me up and put me into salads. It’s horrible!”

The pickle and the penis start giggling. The pickle replies, “Oh you haven’t seen anything yet. When I get big, thick, and juicy, I get stuffed into this ...

The hardest part of measuring Trump's package..

Is sneaking a ruler into Chris Christie's mouth

What are the four hardest years of a police officer's life?

The first grade.

What's the hardest part about eating a clock?

It's time consuming.

Hardest thing in the world is to lose your wife of twenty years.

God knows, I've tried.

People are crazy in Michigan; protesting Covid-19 despite being one of the hardest hit states?

There must be something in the water.

I’m jealous of my dad, he finished the hardest game before me

RIP dad

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Changing diapers is the hardest part about having kids

You can't half ass it.

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You know what the hardest part about being a gay, black police officer is?

The discrimination

What is the hardest thing about being in Hypochondriacs Anonymous?

Admitting that you don’t have a problem.

What’s the hardest thing for an alcoholic law student to do?

Pass the bar

the hardest part about hitting a child in public...

is avoiding getting caught by their parent's.

The hardest part honestly of me being a single stay at home mom

is probably the fact that I'm a 28 year old man with no children

The hardest part about my grandmothers death?

Making it look like an accident.

Do you know what the hardest part of becoming a vegetarian is?

To quit cold turkey.

What's the hardest thing about going to the doctor's office after a Alzheimer's diagnosis?

Burglars will be the ones his hardest by the corona virus.

Everyone is home, all the time.

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