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Hardened Jokes

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Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

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Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra.

The authorities put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

What do you call a hardened criminal from Crete?

Con-crete

So a cement mixer and a prison bus crashed on the highway near my house...

Police advised citizens to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals.

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God is creating the world, and he talks to the canadians

He says to them “You will have the best land ever. It is beautiful, in the summer it is warm and in the winter it snows beautiful snow flakes. It is called Canada. You will have prosperity and food for all your days.”

He then gets the Australians, and says to them “I give to you Australia. Yo...

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Three hardened criminals were arrested last night.

They were all on Viagra.

What does Canada do with all their hardened and dangerous criminals?

They give them hockey jerseys and call them our National Hockey Team

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A shipment of Viagra was hijacked on its way to the depot.

The police are warning citizens to be on the look out for a gang of hardened criminals.

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What do a Retired Plumber and a Battle Hardened Soldier have in common?

You don't know what shit they've been through.

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BREAKING NEWS Thieves have allegedly broken into the laboratory at Pfizer to try and steal the new Covid-19 vaccine...

They apparently took a case of viagra instead. The police are looking for a group of hardened criminals.

Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway,

Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals

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I told my friend that a prisoner on Viagra is a hardened criminal. She said something about that doesn't seem right.

I agreed, something is definitely afoot.

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Five people have been found guilty of conspiracy to supply millions of pounds worth of counterfeit Viagra.

The judge described them as hardened criminals

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The thief who stole viagra at the pharmacy...

He's really a *hardened* criminal.

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(Short) Dirty Joke

Police have issued a city-wide statement:

"Approximately an hour ago two thieves ran off with multiple pounds of Viagra"

They say to keep an eye out for two hardened criminals...

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Two criminals break into a drugstore and steal all the Viagra. The store owners call the police and they put out an alert.

An officer in the vicinity turns to his partner and says “Alright, we’re looking for two hardened criminals”

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A wounded soldier takes viagra by accident after thinking the pills were pain killers

He got battle-hardened by that experience

A Car full of bank robbers has crashed into a cement truck yesterday while evading police …

The police are now searching for hardened criminals.

Did you know Ghandi didn't wear shoes and often fasted?

Walking barefoot all the time hardened his feet, but hunger weakened his body and made his breath smell terrible.

In fact, you could say he was a
super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis

What happened to the escaped convict who fell into a pool of concrete?

He became a hardened criminal.

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A woman finds a lamp and of course it contains a genie...

... which offers to give her only one wish as he is very much tired from his 10.000 years of imprisonment.

,,I want a million dollars!'' she screams excited.

The Genie nods. ,,It shall be as you wi-''

,,No!'' interrupts the woman. ,,Such a wish is selfish and petty. No, what I w...

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I had a rough upbringing and all I know is crime, my latest job was a Viagra heist at the local pharmacy.

I'm a hardened criminal

You hear about the paddy wagon that collided with cement mixer Ed?

12 hardened criminals escaped.

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Did you hear that the first Viagra crate imported to Britain was stolen?

Police are searching for hardened criminals in possession of swollen goods

[OC] What do you call a felonious fingernail?

A hardened cuticle lol

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Armed robbers have recently stolen a semi trailer full of Viagra

The police had said to be on the lookout for a group of hardened criminals

Sudden realization moment

While speaking with my dad, he said to me "Gandhi fasted so long that his frame was rather frail, and when he ate the strangest fruit his breath was often stale, and he walked barefoot so hardened bottoms were his diagnosis."

Oh my God, I can't believe it...

He was a Super Callous Frag...

Gandhi was a well-traveled man..

Unfortunately, the majority of these travels were taken on foot, causing his feet to build up an incredible amount of hardened skin

To make things worse, his minimalist diet (and eventually his age) led him to become very frail.

In light of this, he still offered a surplus of insight t...

While driving home I heard on the radio that convicts had escaped a prisoner transport after colliding with a concrete truck.

Authorities say to be on the lookout for hardened criminals.

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Wanna hear about the criminals who stole a truck full of viagra?

They went to jail for 10 years and then became hardened criminals.

What do you call a drug dealer in a strip club

A hardened criminal

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A husband is making jello for his wife...

Wife: "Has that jello hardened yet?"

Husband: "Yeah, it's as hard as my dick."

Wife: "Great! Pour me a glass!"

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Kanye’s rise to fame

Right before dropping out of college and kick starting his rap career, Kanye West went to visit his wealthy aunt, Shirlie Faulker, who owned a rubber products manufacturing factory on the outskirts of Paris, France. He decided to spend his summer break working at the factory part time while deciding...

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News, just in: Truck Stolen!

A lorry containing 150 pallets of Viagra was stolen last night. Police are searching the country for a gang of hardened criminals.

Ghandi is my role model

Everyone knows about Gandhi. Pacifist, role model of MLK, and arguably the most important man in the movement of Indian independence. Of course, aside from his upstanding character, he did have a multitude of physical flaws. As an Indian peasant, he rarely wore shoes because he was too poor to affor...

The beverage company Nage decided to do something new.

In the tiny village of Mars, Kansas, a new themepark opened on the outskirts of town. Touted as the future of entertainment, the beverage company "Nage" decided to take all their leftover & recycled parts of their product, and turn them into hardened plastic materials to construct their attracti...

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An old man telling a young man about what to expect later in life [NSFW]

A 90 year old man was telling a 20 year old man about what to expect later in life.
"You know, when I was your age, I was able to grip my rock hard Johnson with both hands, and try as hard as I might, I couldn't get that thing to bend!"
The young man seemed impressed.
"When I turned 30, I ...

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Cadet in the Foreign Legion

A cadet in the Foreign Legion gets sent to a small outpost in the middle of the Arabian desert. There's a small group of hardened soldiers stationed there, along with a group of Bedouins who cook, clean, and tend the camels. On his first night he offhandedly asks what they do for women out there. "W...

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In Memory of Ronnie Corbett

Here's some of his best jokes

- A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston by-pass. Motorists are asked to be on the look-out for 16 hardened criminals.

- We will be talking to an out of work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.

- A man was maro...

The old man, the prince, and the fish.

Once upon a time, there was a prince of a certain land, who wanted to be a lowly fisherman when he grew up. But try as he could, he couldn't ever catch a single fish. He had tried many methods, including nets, spears, and traps, but all to no avail.

Furthermore, he was looked down upon by the...

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