A dog in a hard hat walks into a bar

The dog says "I'll have a beer. I'm on lunch break from the construction site across the street."

The bartender says "Wow, a talking dog! You should join the circus!"

The dog replies "Why? Do they need construction workers?"

Did you know? If you put a hard hat up to your ear...

...you can hear the OSHA

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A construction crew was building a house

After a while, the four-year-old next door becomes fascinated by the activity and starts coming around. They provide her with a hard hat, give her little jobs and, at the end of the week, present her with a $5 pay packet.

She proudly takes the packet home where her parents make a massive fuss...

I forgot my hard hat when I went to the building site...

Health and safety came down on me like a tonne of bricks.

Chic and Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five are plotting to destroy the world, and so former arch-enemies the Village People and the Beastie Boys put aside their differences to stop them

The slaughter is brutal and extremely exciting to watch, but finally, it ends in a showdown: Nile Rogers and Grandmaster Flash, laughing as they square up to the last surviving Beastie Boy and the last surviving Village Person.

He straightens his hard hat, draws his sword and charges at Nile ...

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Junior Builder....

A young family moved into a house next door to an empty plot. One day, a gang of building workers turned up to start building on the plot.

The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers.

She ...

A teddy bear applies for a job at a building site...

... The foreman is a bit surprised, but the teddy bear is quite insistent, so Monday rolls around and the teddy bear is put on the payroll, and issued with a hard hat, a safety jacket, a pick and shovel.

The teddy bear works hard all day, and the foreman is pleasantly surprised. In the evenin...

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The little builder

A cute golden-haired pre-schooler notices that they are building a house next door, and she starts hanging around the site and asking the builders about everything they are doing. They think she's adorable, so they find her a little hard hat and hi-vis, and they set her up in a corner of the yard wi...

NSFW

I forgot my hard hat at home

Two Mexican men are working on a construction site...

It's brutally hot out, and after a while Miguel just can't take it anymore. He sits down in the shade and tips his hard hat over his eyes to take a break.

His friend Joaquin looks up and sees a man approaching them. "Hey, Miguel!" Joaquin says, "Look alive, man! El jefe's coming! He'll fire y...

Bartender, There's a Fly In My Beer!

A millionaire, a hard hat, and an old drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug.
The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it.
The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest.
It's now ...

A man walks into a bar...

...wearing a hard hat and overalls, carrying a pickaxe in one hand and a lantern in the other. He sits down on a stool and orders a beer. The bartender takes one look at him and says:

"We don't serve miners here."

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it ...

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