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Hanks Jokes

When Tom Hanks writes his memoir it should be called...

'T. Hanks - For the Memories'

I met Tom Hanks once. He was so rude

I asked for his autograph and all he wrote was thanks.

I heard Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are working on a new film made specifically for the blind.

It's called "You've Got Braille"

Tom Hanks is so nice…

…every time he signs an autograph he writes T.HANKS

If Wilson lent Tom Hanks $20...

Tom Hanks would be Owen Wilson.

Whether Tom Hanks signs his thank you messages "T.Hanks" won't matter...

People won't open his emails anymore because it might be a virus

Whats Tom Hanks Without Resistance?

Tanks

Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey all decide to make a movie

Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"

Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"

Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

Tom Hanks, age 103, is on his deathbed...

The doctor at his bedside tells his family: "There's not much we can do at this point.

The family turns to Tom and asks him, "What are your wishes for the funeral, Burial or Cremation?"

Tom Hanks slowly lifts up a finger and points it towards his own body and says his last words .......

When Tom Hanks is finishing an email...

...he doesn't need to write a signature after he gives thanks

Tom Hanks really said catch me if you can

and my god did he catch it

Tom Hanks took a bunch of pictures of trees and submitted them for picture of the year.

One forest won.

Tom Hanks was recently quoted talking about how much he disliked one of Stephen King's novels.

T. Hanks: I hate It.

Everyone is freaking out about Tom Hanks having the Corona virus.

I'm just happy that we finally know what Jenny had.

What do they call Tom Hanks when he's too scared to move?

A petrified Forrest

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Tom Hanks walks into WB studios

Tom Hanks walks into the WB studios and enters one of the many conference rooms.
As he sits down for the read -through, he notices his fellow peers sitting at the table Ben Affleck, Henry Cavill's mustache, Gal Gadot and a couple of other people he was he was only vaguely familiar with. He picks...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Overcoming your fears.. as told by tom hanks ..

Three men found that they could no longer sleep because of their deep-seeded fears. Their lives were in the state of stasis because of their constant worries. So they set out on a pilgrimage to find a wise man who lived high in the mountains, so high up above the tree line, that no vegetation grew, ...

In an effort to play every famous person in the world, Tom Hanks has taken a new role

In his ongoing effort to play every white man of any worthy note, Tom Hanks has be cast as Tom Hanks in his upcoming biopic

Walter White invites Hank over one night.

Walt: I got you a pizza.
Hank: Thanks, how much do I owe you.
Walt: It's on the house

What did Quentin Terrantino do after hearing that Tom Hanks got COVID-19?

He promptly placed himself in a Quarantino to limit contact with the outsiders.

Tom Hanks and his wife Rita have tested positive for COVID-19.

It's not the first time he's been in isolation with a Wilson.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Gay parents are awesome!

* "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard"

Meeting Tom Hanks made my whole day ... [NSFW]

meeting Kevin Spacey made my hole weak.


I'll see myself out ...

Disclaimer: I met none.

Authorities discover that Tom Hanks has killed thousands of people

with kindness

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Trump, Lebron James, the Pope, a mother of 6, and a Tom Hanks are on a plane

Trump, Lebron James, the Pope, a mother of 6, and Tom Hanks are on a plane when the cockpit is struck and the plane starts to go down.

As they search for parachutes they discover they are one short.

Before anyone can say anything Trump grabs a pack and jumps, giving everyone the finger...

Yesterday I found myself next to a Hollywood celebrity at a grocery store. Both of us were staring at the cream cheese section.

I was …..watching Philadelphia with Tom Hanks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I wanted to watch this famous Tom Hanks movie, but I made a typo and ended up downloading a movie about a sex slave in a jungle.

It was called Forest Gimp.

Can anyone tell me who played Forrest Gump?

T.hanks

Rumor has it Tom Hanks just signed a deal to star in a sequel to one of his greatest 80s blockbusters.

Big, if true.

Reddit should all come together and create a film starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep about a newspaper uncovering a US government cover up.

It would be the greatest rePost of all time.

The twelve days of Jokemas, day seven

What is Tom Hanks' favorite drink?

The Polar Expresso

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ryan Gosling went to live in Saudi Arabia for a year.

He and a local Saudi girl fell in love.

The girl would secretly sneak out of her house in the middle of the night without a male companion to hangout with Ryan. They would go to Ryan's place and make love for the whole night. Ryan would drop her back before the dawn. She would quietly sneak i...

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Knock, knock.

Go fuck yourselves.

- The straight-laced and frustrated FBI agent, played by Tom Hanks', joke in the movie Catch Me If You Can.

A man walks into an autobody shop and asks for a rim job

A man walks into an autobody shop and asks for a rim job.

The mechanic gapes at the man for a few seconds and then asks, "What did you say?"

"A rim job!" says the man. "My buddy knows all about cars and he took one look at my wheels and said I desperately needed a rim job."

Real...

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