UPJOKE
freddiminutivepatronymicforenamesurnamenamelessnicknamesobriquetnamemonikercodenamecognomenappellationgive nametad

Lenny Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lenny is a righteous man who devotes his life to charity work ...

Every week, he prays to god that he should win the lottery. "god, I don't desire much and I do your work on this earth, but I've never enjoyed the material things--a large house, fast car, steak dinners, that deep down I want to enjoy.

Finally one week Lenny breaks down and says during his w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Accidently spilled vanishing cream on my gerbil Lenny, and thus immediately took him to our vet

Bastard said he couldn't see him right now.

What does Lenny (of Mice and Men) do during foreplay?

Heavy petting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a guy is having drinks at a bar .....

After a while he looks over and sees a huge jar stuffed to the brim with 20 dollar bills. He asks the bar tender " hey whats with the jar? Theres gotta be at least 4 grand in there?" to which the bar tender replies " oh, you wouldn't wanna know. Its just a running bet" The guy says " try me. I love ...

Waitress, do you have a lobster tail?

Waitress:

'Yes. Once upon a time there was a little lobster called Lenny and ..."

A guy walks into a bar

He sits down and tells the bartender, “I don’t drink too often, so what would you recommend?” Bartender says, “I make a pretty good grasshopper.” Guy replies, “Cool, I’ll have one.” So the bartender whips it up, the guy drinks it, and heads out of the bar.
While walking to his car the guy notic...

So Jan gets a job driving a school bus.

The first day of school, Jan is given the bus she's to drive. She's driving an elementary-school route, so the inside of the bus has been decked out with Sesame Street characters; muppets pasted on every wall. Jan shrugs and gets started on her route.

The first kid is a super fat little girl...

A boy comes home and proudly announces to his parents, "Mom, dad..."

A boy comes home and proudly announces to his parents, "Mom, dad, the teacher asked the class a question today and I was the only one who knew the right answer!"


The parents are very happy and ask, "That's amazing Lenny! And what was the question?"


Sticking out his chest,...

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "hey, we have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper says, "you have a drink named Lenny?"

A man goes to prison.

The first night while he's laying in bed contemplating his situation, he hears someone yell out, "44!" Followed by laughter from the other prisoners.

He thought that was pretty odd, then he heard someone else yell out, "72!" Followed by even more laughter.

"What's going on?" he asked h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Falling penis...

A woman comes home from work early, only to find her husband in bed with the tramp from next door for the third time.

"Lenny! I told you the next time I catch you cheating on me- it's coming off and it's going out the window!"

She runs to the kitchen, grabs a butchers knife and runs ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sixth-grade teacher

Mrs. Fisher, the sixth-grade teacher, tells the class that today they’re going to have a spelling bee.
Instructing the first kid to stand up, she asks, “Robert, what does your father do for a living? Say
it nice and clearly, and then spell it out.”
“My father’s a baker,” answers Robert. “B-...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Special

Two buddies are out at a bar swapping stories and getting wasted.

Just as last call is signaled, one of them remarks to the other, "You know, Jon, its been a long time since I really gave it to a woman. I mean, just really let her have it, you know?" He pounded his fist into his palm lightly...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.