Goosebump Jokes - 10 Hilarious Goosebump Jokes

What are goosebumps for?

To slow down speeding geese!

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man comes home late from the bar

He knows his wife don't like it when he drinks, so he sneaks his way to the bathroom so he can piss.
When he opens the bathroom door, the light automatically turns on. He finds it odd, since he didn't buy any automated lights or something like that.
He thinks that maybe his wife had installed...

I was talking to a woman at a bar, and she said air on a g-string gave her goosebumps.

It was 10 minutes before I realized she was talking about the musical piece by Bach.

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What do you call a dead bird on the road?

A goosebump.

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What do you call a flock of geese on the road?

Goosebumps!

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There's a scary library in my town...

...everytime I go there I get goosebumps.

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My printer has started printing scary stories in the middle of the night. Somehow they’re all in Braille.

It’s giving me Goosebumps

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What do you feel when you accidentally run over and kill a group of geese crossing the road?

Goosebumps

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She was 18 and he was 35.

Just the two of them. She knew that today is the day, she had been waiting for it. He laid her on her back and leaned above her. She got goosebumps and sweaty palms.

“I’m scared” she said quietly.
“You’ll be fine, i’ll be quick” he replied.

Within a few minutes the tooth was out and...

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A lad was on his way to visit his friend. Whilst driving, his car broke down and it began to rain so heavily, he couldn’t see his own hands in front of him. (Halloween super scary story)

**this super scary story as told me to be last night by an Irish dude**

He walked for as long as he could, but the rain became too much to bear. He found a tree and stood beneath it, waiting for a car.
Hours went by, and he was beginning to give up hope. It was a quiet road indeed that ...

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