My mates uncle was just ran over by a boat in Venice.

I've sent My gondolences

What is Jedi Master Qui Gon Gin's favorite part of a movie

The credits

X Gon’ Give it to Ya

Unless you’re the IRS

I made a virtual bubble wrap to keep you all busy during quarantine. There might be some irregular bubbles, but that is normal.

>!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!pop!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Giv!< >!ve !< >!You!< >!Up,!< >!Nev!< >!er !< >!Gon!< >!na !< >!Let!< >!You!< >...

What did Anakon tell Obi-Wan when he missed his master?

Let Qui-Gons be bygones.

Kenobi was wondering if he should become a Jedi

So Qui-Gon gave him this advice:

"Oh, be one."

I propose that we rename salmonella in honour of DMX.

Because eggs gon’ give it to ya.

Carl and Clarance lived on opposite sides of the Mississippi River..

They lived their whole lives right across the river from each other, way back in the day. The nearest bridge across was 100 miles away, and both were too poor to afford an automobile, so from their youth they made a past time of shouting insults to one another from across the river.
For many yea...

I taught a parrot to recognize shapes...

But now polygon

My girlfriend got the coronavirus so I broke up with her. 2 weeks later, she’s seeing a new guy now and apparently he just tested positive. Be careful out there everyone, I guess what they say is true.

Ex gon give it to ya

my nephew turns 3 this august

but since money tight we just not gon' tell him

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I recently went on Amazon looking for a popcorn machine.

After a few minutes of searching I settled on an 800W electric stainless steel popcorn machine for £45. As I added it to my basket, I saw that they had an upgrade to Amazon Prime called Amazon Prime X. It claimed to deliver your order in 20 minutes or less. I assumed it was bullshit but I had a free...

Early in the development of the Clone Wars show the writers wanted Obi Wan to forgive Darth Mail for killing his master and befriend him.

They decided to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

What’s a Star Wars fan’s favourite drink

Qui Gon Gin

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What's the best song to play during break-up sex?

Ex gon' give it to you.

A rich man was strolling along a riverside with his 6 year old daughter and they came to a bridge...

On the bridge there was a hobo sitting and shaking his cup. As they were walking past, the rich man wasn't keeping an eye on his daughter, who was playing with the bars of the railing and she slipped through and fell in. Not knowing how to swim himself, the man shouted for help. Without saying a wor...

Most people don't know that DMX is good at math

When solving a polynomial, X gon give it to you

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A trucker is driving his regular route from St Louis to New Orleans

He’s passing through Arkansas and it’s raining buckets outside. The trucker pulls over at a small gas station in the middle of nowhere, deciding to take a short break and wait for the rain to pass. He heads inside and is greeted by the store clerk. The clerk is a dirty looking man in his mid fifties...

I didn’t like Obi-Wan’s Jedi master...

But I’ve decided to let Qui-Gons be Qui-Gons.

All the uproar about Liam Neeson’s racist comments is a bit much

Can’t we let Qui-Gons be Qui-Gons...?

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A back woods West Virgina man gets engaged.

He rushes home to tell his dad.

"Pa! I met me a woman and we's gonna marry!" His dad replies, "Well, tell me 'bout her!" The son says, "She's beautiful, nice, an a virgin!" At the news the father is visibly upset, "No you ain't gon marry you no virgin! If she ain't good nuff fer her family, s...

I got frustrated when my friend couldn't draw a 2 sided closed shape.

But then I decided to let bi-gons be bygones.

George Lucas announced that he'd like to make several changes to The Phantom Menace.

But I say let's let Qui-gons be Qui-gons.

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A wealthy businessman sells everything he has and moves to a cottage in the countryside.

He unpacks his things and goes out to the front porch to sit on his rocking chair and soak in the ambiance.

A pickup rolls by.


"Howdy!" says the driver, a toothless bearded man in his fifties.

"Hey!"

"You new round here?"

"Sure am. Just unpacked."

"Say,...

What’s Darth Maul’s favourite alcoholic beverage?

*Qui-Gon* Gin

A six sided man walks into a bar

A six sided man walks into a bar and orders a gon.

The bartender says, "What the heck's a gon?"

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Amazon Prime X

The other day, I was browsing Amazon. I love popcorn and had found this incredible, stainless steel popcorn machine. I already have Amazon prime so it's quick and it's free shipping.

At the checkout, there is an upgrade button. Curious, I wanted to see what it was since I already have Amazon ...

Why should you stay away from Xzibit when he has a cold?

Cuz X gon' give it to ya.

Huge embarrassment at the NAACP science award show.

Turns out that Weed-B-Gon was invented by a Caucasian.

An artist found a way to draw a two-sided figure, but the International Geometry Summit immediately began to furiously contest the new shape...

I say, let bi-gons be bi-gons

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Guy goes into a bar

A guy goes into a bar, sits down and orders himself a drink. The guy notices a jar filled with hundreds with the words "The Ultimate Challenge" written on it. He asks the bartender what that's all about. The bartender replies that you put one hundred dollars in the play the challenge and whoever co...

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[NSFW] Glitter

A White guy, a brown guy, and a black guy go on a road trip. Along the way to their destination, they have engine issues and the car breaks down. Nearest service station is over 50 miles away, fortunately for them, there is a house farm nearby.They get to the door and knock.

An old, bitter l...

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Boudreaux and Thibodeaux had been hunting together ever since they were kids.

Squirrel, rabbit, quail, deer, you name it - cleaned and on the table. Now old men, Thibodeaux had developed a habit that greatly annoyed ol' Boudreaux... he would wander off, find a nice comfy spot to rest, and fall asleep, leaving Boudreaux to wander the woods looking for his friend.

Well, ...

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A man moves out to the country....

City Joe moves out to the country to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. After purchasing some ranch land he surveys the area from his front porch. Up his driveway rumbles an old pick up truck. Out steps a middle aged man in a cowboy hat and wranglers.

"howdy", he says, "ya see ...

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Hillbilly gets a new neighbor

Hillbilly knocks on the door of his new neighbors house.

"Howdy neybur, since yall are my new neyburs, i reckon i should throw yall a party at my house! There gon' be tons of drinkin, tons of dancin, and tons of screwin."

"Sounds good to me, what can i bring?" the new neighbor ...

What is the theme song for the KKK?

We gon be all white

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Farmers and their Pig

Old, long winded, and immature. But, I always laugh at it

Three farmers had been competing at the state fair for several years now for the biggest pig contest. Each year though all three farmers would lose to a pig from another county. So, Farmer John calls farmer Brown and Farmer Dan over to...

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Boudreau goes huntin'

There was these two Louisiana Cajuns on the bayou.

One morning Leroy saw Boudreau in his boat floating down the bayou with a lawnmower in it. "Hey Boudreau the hell you gon do with that lawnmower?" "This here's a John Deere and I'm going deer huntin!"

Leroy shakes his head at Boudreau...

What's the main ingredient in a Jedi martini?

Qui-Gon Gin

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