I had to give up on my idea to create the world’s smallest flamethrower.

It was burning a hole in my pocket.

What do you call a 12th century monk with a flamethrower?

A friar-fighter.

I think with the recent success of Elon musk’s “not a flamethrower” sales he should consider moving into a different market maybe perfumes

He could call his first brand Elon’s musk

I just burned 81,500 calories

Now to hide the remains and the flamethrower

My best friend burnt me with a flamethrower once...

Fortunately, I survived because it was friendly fire.

Who’s the happiest person at a furry convention?

Whoever has the flamethrower!

There's a Soviet General on the eastern front in Finland...

He goes to see his men to raise their morale; they've been having trouble taking a forest.

From across the forest he hears, "Ha! One Finn is better than ten Russians!"

The general is angered by this so he rounds up the nearest ten soldiers and sends them to find and kill the Finn. He h...

Elon Musk takes out a loan

The year is 2020.


Elon musk walks into a bank in London and asks for the loan officer. He says says he is going to space on a business trip for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000.

The loans officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so Elon Musk ...

It takes a village to raise a child...

...it takes a child with a flamethrower to raze a village.

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