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Mongols Jokes

Why were the Mongols always so happy?

They were nomads.

Mongols once launched a naval invasion on Java but failed....

They sucked at C

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Medieval polish farmer is out working in his fields one day, and digs up an old magic lamp. He begins to wipe off the dirt, thinking to sell it at market, when suddenly a Genie flies out, offering the astonished farmer 3 wishes.

"Oh Noble farmer, you have freed me from my prison, and for that I grant you 3 wishes! What say you?"

The farmer thinks hard about his first wish, and finally says "I wish for the Mongol hoard to come invade Poland."

The Genie looks at the farmer, puzzled for a moment, then nods. The e...

In 1240 CE, the Mongols invaded Tibet

... and the Tibetan leader, Lama Sakya Pandita, marshaled all able-bodied men in Lhasa to repel the invasion. Commoners, nobility and peasants answered the summons, but Sakya's own monks hesitated. After all, they had all taken vows of nonviolence, and had not harmed so much as a fly since their i...

How did the Mongols get to Europe?

Steppe by steppe.

What did the Mongols put on their Hamburgers?

Khan-diments.

A polish peasant farmer...

...is digging in his field one day when he hits something with his shovel. Picking it up and dusting it off, he recognizes it as an old lamp. A genie pops out and offers him three wishes. The Pole thinks about his wishes for the entire day and finaly decides. "Genie", he says, "I want the Mongol hor...

[Long] A Polish farmer...

During WWII a Polish farmer is tilling his field when he finds a lamp. He picks up the lamp and rubs off the dirt when a genie pops out.

The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from my prison. In return I will give you three wishes."

"Ok" says the farmer, "for my first wish I want the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Don't be so rough on China, they have some legitimate grievances

They've been oppressed by so many nations in the world: the Mongols, the Japanese, the Chinese...

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