Filet Mignon Jokes - 8 Hilarious Filet Mignon Jokes

What do you call a filet mignon made from clouds?

A mist steak.

Took my wife Mary out to a fancy restaurant last night. I had the filet mignon...

Mary had a little lamb.

A crazy man put a gun to my head and told me if I don't break the world record for the tallest filet mignon tower he would kill me and my family.

The steaks have never been higher.

Here's a joke from the 80s

Ronald Reagan and Nancy Reagan are out to dinner. The waiter asks what the First Lady will have. She says, "I'd like the filet mignon, and a baked potato."

The waiter asks, "and the vegetable?"

Mrs. Reagan answers, "Oh, he'll have the same."

When I was a kid we were so poor we had to eat sitting on the floor.

Every supper, mom would cook up another batch of filet mignons and we’d sit around on the floor eating them like a picnic.

One day dad came home and said he’d taken a gamble and bought us a table. Ever since then, the steaks have been raised.

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

**FILET MIGNON!**

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A homeless man walks into a restaurant...

He sits down at a table and asks to speak to the manager. The manager walks over to the man and says

"Can I help you?"

"I'm going to be honest with you. I have no money to pay for a meal. But I want to make a little wager with you. I want you to take any spoon that you want and then I ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

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