Joke my 12 year old son made up: What do you call it when you throw Mexican food at high velocity?

Fa-yeet-a

In Leicester City, no one talks about the cold ...

... because of the>! silent "ice".!<


ps: Congrats r/lcfc for winning the FA Cup (:

It’s not fa la la la la, la la la la.

It’s la la la la sol, fa mi re do.

Nicola Sturgeon is being shown around an Edinburgh hospital when one of the patients sits up in bed and exclaims:

"Fair fa' your honest sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden race!"

Before Nicola can respond, another patient responds: "Wee, sleekit, cowerin', timorous beastie! O what a panic's in thy breastie!"

while a third one chimes in with "Some hae meat and cannae eat, and some wad eat th...

I just googled "Superman football stats," and it didn't have his FA cup stats...

...just his league

Prince Charles is visiting an Edinburgh hospital. He enters a ward full of patients with no obvious sign of injury or illness and greets one.

The patient replies:

"Fair fa your honest sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin race,
Aboon them a ye take yer place,
Painch, tripe or thairm,
As langs my airm."

Charles is confused, so he just grins and moves on to the next patient. The patient responds:

"Some h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Memory Man

An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man.
“That’s the Memory Man.” said...

As a 39 old guy, I felt proud for coming up with this joke. (My 8-yr old ugggghhhhh'ed at it)

Q: Why did fifteen (15) started running away?

A: Coz he heard "thirteen fa(u)rtin.."

^(PS: You have to say it) *^(just)* ^(right)

Remember that scene from A Christmas Story where the people at the Chinese restaurant were singing "Fa ra ra ra raaa..."?

They were really filled with that no-L spirit.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Chinese woman who was a chronic masturbator crossdressed to enlist in the army

Her name was Fa Ping

A man was doing some last minute Christmas shopping and spotted a beautiful parrot through the window of a pet shop.

The man walked inside to get a better look, and the owner of the shop approached the man.

"That's Chet," the owner said, "He's a very special parrot."

"What do you mean special?" the man asked.

The owner struck a match and held it under the parrots left foot and Chet began to...

I bought a new sofa. Really comfortable.

So fa, so good.

(Well, at least it's OC :-) )

A security guard was working at a train station..

It was late and the train station was very quiet. Apart from him there was no one else in the station but one other security guard.

Half way through his shift a man came strolling into the station. Noticing the security guard he made his way over to him.

The security guard greeted the ...

The Voice Coach

Voice Coach: "Let's start with a scale."

Student: "Do, re, muuuhh, fa, so, la, ti, doooh!"

Voice Coach: "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Don't take that tone with mi!"

There was this government inspector checking out a hospital

There was this government inspector checking out a hospital. He gets guided round most of the wards by a resident doctor, and things seem okay. They have just one more ward to go, when the doctor's pager goes off and he runs to take an emergency call, the inspector decides to proceed, and asks the...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reaction to Snakes

• Civilian: Runs away from the snake screaming.

• Paratrooper: Lands on and kills the snake.

• Armor: runs over snake, giggles, and looks for
more snakes.

• Infantry: "Look, a putty cat. Come 'ere
kitty....Ouch! Hey, that's not a putty tat."

• Army Aviation: Has GPS...

A 20 year old man goes to India to visit and old chief

and this chief claims to know everything about anything, so the man goes up to him and says, "Chief, do you know the result between Wigan and Shrewsbury Town in the 1927 FA Cup?" The chief replies, "1-0 to Wigan." Being a Wigan fan himself, the man was amazed at his knowledge and thanked him. 50 yea...

How do you tell from noise whether a person has fallen from 2nd floor or 12th floor?

12th floor- Aaaaaaaaahhh.... fa-thud.

2nd floor- thud. Aaaaaaaaaaahhh....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's your name?

A man was at a bar when a beautiful woman walked up to him to say hello. He asks her name to which she says Jane. She asked his name, he said, Ra Ra Ra Ra Ra Fa fa fa fa fa el el el el el el. "Oh, I'm sorry I wasn't aware you had a speech impediment!" she says to him. "Oh my no, I speak just fine. M...

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