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Kaiser Jokes

How are Kaiser rolls made?

They're bread.

A musician walks into a bar and orders a drink.

The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

"I play flute in a travelling orchestra" he said. "Last month, we played for the Ottoman sultan. He liked our performance and ordered to fill our instruments with sapphires. The cello got 1000 sapphires in, the drum got 2000 sapphires in, this piece of ...

What did the German Kaiser roll say to the French baguette?

*Gluten tag*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If the Nazis had won WWII and set up the Thousand Year Reich, what would they have called their leader?

*The Kaiser Permanente*

I sat with my wife watching "The purge" last night.

She turns to me and says "This is the sort of mess we will have in the future"

I turned to her and reply "Kaiser chiefs were right"

She looks at me for a second and then giggles "o. I get it... I predict a riot"

"No. Every day I love you less and less"

During WW1 Switzerland had 250 000 soldiers

The German Kaiser asked the Swiss ambassador in Berlin: "What would Switzerland do if I invaded with 500 000 soldiers?"

The ambassador replied: "Shoot twice and go home."

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