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Matilda Jokes

A Blonde goes to Heaven

(found this on an old PC, I was clearing out..)

A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Ex...

Two old ladies are in a car...

They're driving down the street when suddenly they pass a red light.

Dorothy, who's sitting in the passenger's seat thinks to herself, 'oh well, Matilda is getting pretty old and her vision isn't what it used to be. She probably didn't see that red light, happens to everyone."

They dr...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Smartenin' pills

This little kid Jimmy was frustrated, because every day as he walked to school with his lunch, the big bully Buster would stop him and ask him what he had for lunch. Then he would take the lunch and eat it!

So one day Jimmy decided he had enough, he had to do something about this. Now his A...

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