Elton John Jokes - 43 Hilarious Elton John Jokes

In 1982 Elton John attended one of Queen's concerts, but was shortly hospitalized afterwards.

Turns out they found traces of Mercury in him.

I couldn't find a seat for the new Elton John film

I'm still standing

They threw me in jail for singing too much Elton John...

I’m not sure when I’ll get out, but I think it’s gonna be a long, long time.

I took a piano lesson with Elton John...

He was so nice, he even offered to push in my stool.

Octopuses Garden

An octopus walks into a bar and sees a band playing in the corner, composed of those bar-room heroes, the Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman.
He walks up and says “I’m the best musician in the world. I can play any instrument you like”.
So the English guy goes “Alright then. Play th...

I ordered a couple Elton John albums off of Amazon three months ago. They still haven't shipped.

And I think it's going to be a long, long time

I tried to change my Elton John tickets to seated

But I’m Still Standing

Not many people look good with the Elton John look

But I could totally rock it, man

What’s Oedipus’s mom’s favorite Elton John song?

Don’t let the son go down on me

Elton John got his pet rabbit a treadmill for Xmas.

It's a little fit bunny.

Why doesn’t Elton John eat lettuce?

Because he’s a Rocket Man

It’s my birthday, enjoy my current favourite joke!!

Why does Elton John play the piano?

Because he sucks on an organ.

what is a cheese's favourite Elton John song?

I'm Stilton standing!

What was Jesus' least favorite Elton John song?

"Take Me to the Pilate"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you get when Little Richard calls you up to tell you he's picked up Carmen Miranda, Freddy Mercury, Peter Allen, Divine, Sylvester, Chris Crocker, Elton John, Gil Chesterton, Andy Dick, Wayne Newton, Liberace, and Richard Simmons...and they're on their way?

Tutti Frutti en route-y!

(Wooooooooo!)

Why don't Elton John songs have a copyright?

You can tell everybody this is your song.

Wanna hear my Elton John joke?

It’s a little bit funny…

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elton John did so much LSD at a party one night, he tried to have sex with a woman...

Dude was straight trippin'

Why did Elton John go to Radio City Music Hall?

He wanted to be a Rockette Man

Seeing the flash in the distance, Elton John knew he only had moments to live. He turned to the nearest celebrity at the party for one last human embrace.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

How do you tell Elton John his flies are undone?

His candle’s in the wind.

What does Harry Potter and Elton John have in common?

Both of them have spent a portion of their lives in a closet.

What does Elton John have after getting drunk at an Italian restaurant?

Penne and regrets

Woke up with Elton John’s Rocket Man stuck in my head, hope it leaves soon

But I think it’s gonna be a long long time

What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?

I don't know, but you better keep it away from your ass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Kylie Minogue, Elton John and Robbie Williams are walking along the street.

Kylie trips, jamming her head in some railings. Robbie, quick as a flash, pulls down her knickers and fucks her ball-deep senseless. He turns to Elton and says, "your turn!" but Elton starts to cry. "What's wrong, Elton?" asks Robbie. Elton sobs, "My head won't fit through the railings!"

Elton John thinks that "sorry" seems to be the hardest word.

He clearly hasn’t been to Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch.

Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad

he thought for a moment and replied "no thanks, I'm a rocket man"

What’s Elton Johns favourite beer?

Amstel standing! (Yeah Yeah Yeah!)

Elton John gets stopped by police

The officers however don’t recognise him, and Elton shows the a picture online.

Officer 1: I’m so sorry sir, we didn’t recognise you

Officer 2: yes but you were doing 55 in a 40 sir elton so, can we see your license?

The next day Elton is locked in a cell, screaming out : I did...

It's a little known fact that Elton John doesn't like iceberg lettuce

he's a rocket man.

Elton John has changed career and decided to be a stand up comic

His new gig is just a little bit funny

What's the difference between Princess Diana and Elton John?

Only one of them got to be Queen of England...

Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he's taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday

He says he's making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who - after six weeks - is still standing.

Elton John's gained a notable amount of weight lately.

Goodbye, normal jeans.

Did you hear that Elton John is singing at Amy Winehouse's funeral reception?

He will be singing "Candle Under the Spoon".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Music Jokes

Sharing some music related jokes :-

1. Q. What did George Michale sing at Elton John's wedding?
A. Don't let your son go down on me.

2. Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. One. The lead guitarist holds the light, & the world revolves ar...

What do you get when you cross the Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles?

Elton John singing a song for you.

A quote of the President: Donald J. Trump

“I have broken more Elton John records. He seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No, we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. ...

I saw a girl busking today.

She had a great voice and an even better pair of legs, emphasised by the short skirt she was wearing.
"Any requests?" She asked the watching crowd.
"Your thong," I replied with a wink.
Everyone gasped in horror, and the girl slapped me.
It's tough being an Elton John fan with a lisp.

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

A new bus driver starts his first day of work...

......he kisses his wife goodbye. He’s nervous about the new job and not sure if it’s for him.

He’s assigned his bus, and as he walks up to it, he notices that it has a big promotional for Sesame Street on the side. “Great,” he thinks, ...

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First Time Poster, Go easy on me ... "Hamster"

So.. A guy walks into bar and takes a seat ....

The Barman approaches and says what are you having boss?

The Man replies .. I don't have any money pal ...

Barman says if you don't have any money you can stay here ...

The guy says ...what if i told you i have a hamster th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Opporknockity, and a short collection of other terrible music jokes

Mr. Opporknockity is a superb piano tuner. He has spent more than 30 years honing his craft and has made quite a reputation for himself.

He got a call from a guy who had just bought a new grand piano and requested Mr. Opporknockity to come and tune it. Mr. Opporknockity spent more than 3 hour...

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