Stevie Wonder Walked into a Bar

Then a chair. Then a table.

Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for his birthday...

He said it's the most violent book he's ever read.

Stevie Wonder rings Tiger Woods and says

"how do you fancy a round of golf"

Tiger says "I didn't think you would be able to play Stevie"

Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can tune an earpiece into, which tells him the direction and distance to it.
...

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder

Ray Charles meets Stevie Wonder, they talk about their life, then Stevie says "it's just too bad we're both blind".

Ray answers "Could be worse, we could have been black"

Stevie Wonder went to play a concert in China, and he began by asking if the audience had any requests. They shouted: "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"...

Stevie was a little puzzled, but he responded by playing an E minor scale, and then continued with a complex jazz melody that went on for over fifteen minutes.

He finished, but instead of applause, he heard the audience shout again: "No, no! Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

A lit...

Stevie wonder was hit by a car today

Who could have seen it coming?

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A Valentine’s Day Poem, by Stevie Wonder

Roses are black,
Violets are black,
I can’t see shit,
Fuck.

A reporter is interviewing Stevie Wonder

They talk about all the amazing music he has created over the years and the incredible things he has done with his life and as a last question the reporter asks:

"But don't you wish you hadn't been born blind?"

and Stevie replies "Hey, it could've been much worse - I could have been bo...

Tiger and Stevie Wonder are in a bar

Tiger turns to Stevie and asks, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie: Not bad. How's the golf?

Tiger: Not bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now.

Stevie: I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a wh...

Whats Stevie Wonder doing on a boat?

Waiting for a cab.

Have you ever seen a picture of Stevie Wonder's kids?

Neither has he!

Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

Because he's married.

BREAKING: Stevie Wonder suffers major laceration in horrible accident

The wound too big for regular stitches, doctors were forced to use very super stitches

What did Stevie Wonder's mother do for punishment??

Re-arrange the furniture

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dad does this really inappropriate joke where he closes his eyes whenever a Stevie Wonder song comes on.

Fucking nightmare when his songs are on the car radio.

What was Stevie Wonder and Emperor Palpatine's favorite thing about dreaming.

Visions of the dark side

Axl Rose, Bon Jovi, and Stevie Wonder are invited to an exclusive party for musicians. The bartenders have been said to be an “exciting surprise”.

So Axl, Bon and Stevie visit out of curiosity. They sit at the bar and grab the bartender’s attentions. They swing by, and reveal themselves as the members of Survivor: Dave Bickler, Jim Peterik, and Frankie Sullivan. Axl, Bon, and Stevie groan as they expected someone with more credentials.

...

Stevie Wonder broke up with me

He said he just couldn't see us together.

What's Stevie Wonder's favourite colour?

Corduroy

What do you call a tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder?

Endless love.

Stevie Wonder wasn’t just a great musician.

He was outa sight!!

I feel bad for Stevie Wonder...

He hasn't seen his kids in years.

Did you guys see Stevie Wonders new car?

Neither did he.

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.



Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they p...

Which Stevie Wonder song is known for its use of jazz Chords?

I Jazz Chord To Say I Love You..

Can we please stop with all the blind Stevie Wonder jokes?

I just don't see the point.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder's playing an intimate gig in a little Japanese club. Before he starts he asks for any requests.

A little Japanese man at the front jumps up and down shouting "Pray a Jazz Chord! Pray a Jazz Chord!"

Impressed by the little man's knowledge of his musical history and prowess, Stevie and the band crack into a 5 minute Jazz extravaganza in F#.

As they finish the little man is stil...

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Drake?

Stevie has a legitimate reason why he hasn't seen his children.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo

The place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice... "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!" Ama...

Stevie Wonder gets a divorce

Stevie Wonder is getting a divorce.
After the divorce finalization, the lawyer says, "girl, you must've done something really terrible for a blind man to never want to see you again."

(Stolen but golden) Stevie Wonder is in the recording studio at the end of a long hard day.

He's chewing the fat with a few of the technicians.

One of them asks:

“It must be hard being blind Stevie.”

To which Stevie replies:

“Yep, it's hard but at least I'm not black.”

What do John Edward and Stevie Wonder have in common?

They've both made a lot of money from Superstition

I just heard Stevie wonder is a Terrible father...

He never sees his kids

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?

No? Well, Stevie hasn't either.

Stevie Wonder has a bet with Tiger Woods on a game of golf, Stevie says I will beat you, so they agree to have a $500,000 bet on it, Stevie says you name the venue and I will name the time, Tiger says OK St Augustus, so what time we playing? Stevie replied.

Midnight.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Stevie Wonder is playing in Japan for the first time ever...

Sitting at the piano in a concert hall, keen to please his new audience, Stevie shouts "Before I start, does anyone have any requests?"

Some little old Japanese man at the very back of the hall stands up and shouts back "Do a jazz chord!"

So Stevie obliges, playing an Eb Minor diminish...

TIL: I am related to Stevie Wonder

I also learnt he has been telling people he has never seen me before.

What is Stevie Wonder’s favorite color?

Felt

Stevie Wonder's parenting is called into question

Apparently, he hasnt seen his children in years.

Why can't Stevie Wonder drive a bus?

There's no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

I devised a test to see if people prefer Ray Charles or Stevie Wonder...

It's a double blind study.

Stevie Wonder should be on The Voice

He'd probably kill the blind auditions.

Stevie Wonder says the best advice he ever heard was from Ray Charles...

"The future's lookin' up."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

We used to have Charlie Pride, Bob Hope, Johnny Cash, Steve Jobs & Stevie Wonder

Now we have no Pride, no Hope, no Cash, no Jobs & it's no fucking Wonder

I feel bad for Ray Charles about the whole Stevie Wonder thing...

I mean another blind black piano player? There's no way he saw that coming.

What happens when Stevie Wonder tries to shave himself?

Stevie Nicks.

Whenever I email Stevie Wonder

I use the BCC field.

How did Stevie Wonder respond when asked how he coped with being blind?

At least I'm not black.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[OP] Stevie Wonder is visited by a doctor who says that her experimental new procedure can cure his blindness.

Stevie says, "I've lived a great life so far, but it would be wonderful to see again some time before I go." The doctor tells him the procedure is very unorthodox, but Stevie tells her to go ahead and give it a try.

"Ok" she says, "it sounds strange, but for the procedure to work, you will h...

If Stevie Wonder ever gets into a car accidents

It will most likely be because he didn't check his blind spot

Why is Stevie wonders calendar like meeting people on tinder?

It’s all blind dates...

Stevie Wonder cheated on his wife.

So she rearranged all the furniture at the house.

I saw Stevie Wonder at the airport,

but he didn't see me.

*(True story, courtesy of Dad)*

I heard Stevie Wonder took part in a clinical trial....

He was the double blind

Stevie Wonder walked into a bar

He asked the bartender if he could get a Coors light.

Bartender: Sure buddy, I’m a big fan, why don’t you try our new beer that we’ve had imported from Berlin?

Stevie: oh I’m not sure, I have this thing about not drinking German beer

Bartender: SUPERSTITION AINT THE WAYYY!

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