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Eaters Jokes

[OC]What do death eaters eat for dessert ?

Cornelius Fudge

Man eater

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "Caution, I'm a maneater". I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "Excuse me, Miss...about your shirt."

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted, "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a com...

Why don't ant-eaters get Coronavirus?

Because they contain lots of little antibodies

If meat-eaters are Alpha, what are Vegetarians?

Alfalfa.

Why don’t ant eaters get sick?

They have lots of anty bodies inside them.

I've never understood picky eaters...

you won't eat a tomato but you'll put someones unwashed genitals in your mouth.

There are flat earthers, there are tide pod eaters,

And there are people who want the first two to be the same.

Why are yogurt eaters sophisticated?

Because they're WELL-CULTURED.

Statistics show that vegetarians live on average ten years longer than meat eaters

Ten long miserable years

What do cannibal parents tell their kids when they become picky eaters?

Eat the vegetables

Why did the old desperado become a Denny's franchisee when he retired?

.....
.....
Because he always had a way with them senior eaters!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home for dinner.

His family sits down to eat and he knows both of his kids are picking eaters so he doesn’t tell them what it is. As they eat the kids keep asking what it is they’re eating. Finally the dad says “it’s what your mother sometimes calls me” The first kid looks up at the other as yells “spit it out it’s ...

One of the lines in the song ‘Holly Jolly Christmas’ is, “I don’t know if there’ll be snow, but have a cup of cheer”.

I’m concerned that Tide Pod eaters will misunderstand.

What is the group of cannibals who ate Elon Musk called?

The Three Musk eaters

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter kills a deer and brings it home.

He decides to clean it, prepare it, and serve the deer meat for dinner. He knows his kids are fussy eaters, and won't eat it if they know what it is, so he doesn't tell them.


His little boy keeps asking him, "What's for dinner dad?"


"You'll see", he replies.

...

This penguin is driving around

when his car breaks down. He brings it to the local mechanic, a walrus. The walrus says it'll be a while, so he might as well get something to eat. The penguin decides to get some ice cream, because penguins love ice cream. But penguins are also very messy eaters. He gets this ice cream all ove...

A penguin is driving and gets a flat tire.

He pulls over to the nearest gas station and speaks to the mechanic. “About how long to get this repaired?” says the penguin. “Should only be about 30 mins” he replies.

It is pretty hot outside, so the penguin decides to walk and get some ice cream. Thirty or so minutes later, the penguin is...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The real story of Cinderella

Many people don't know the true story, but the fairy godmother told Cinderella that if she did not return from the ball by midnight, her vagina would turn into a pumpkin. So Cinderella left and the fairy godmother waited patiently for her return. Midnight came, no Cinderella. 2am, no Cinderella. Fin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman asks her most understanding friend for advice before her date.

Her friend asks what she thinks the problem in her love life is.

"Well, they tend to leave as soon as I start talking about politics. It's a part of my identity and I just can't help it."

The friend advises her to say everything in her head and judge whether it's political before sayin...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Englishman an Irishman and a Frenchman travel to the jungles of Africa

...and came across a tribe of man eaters that also had a grasp of the English language. The tribe leader expressed that today was a good day for the trio as the tribe had defeated an enemy tribe, had finished feasting and were preparing to celebrate so they had the option of offering a body part for...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hunter brings home a deer he shot, and is preparing it for dinner.

His small kids ask what kind of meat they are going to eat, but he won't tell them - because they are picky eaters. The kids eat the venison, but keep asking him throughout dinner what it is, and he won't tell them.

When they are nearly finished, his daughter asks again, and this time the gu...

Career Choices

As a child, I thought about being a musician, but all my efforts fell flat.

In High School, my teachers seemed to be pushing a career as an astronaut, but then I realized they had something else in mind when they said I was “a real space cadet.”


My first job was working in an ora...

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