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Due Diligence Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There’s a Nun taking a Bath

And she hears a knock at the door.

She gets worried so she yells “who is it?”

Guy replies “it’s the blind man”

Nun says “oh okay, come in”

Blind guy says “Nice tits, now where do you want the blinds?”

*Heard this today, did not do any due diligence to see if it wa...

Dr visit

A man goes to the dr because he is freely quite poorly. The dr does his due diligence and runs some tests on the man to find a diagnosis for his issues and returns to the man’s waiting room to give him the news. The dr looks at the man and says “I’ve got some terrible news.” The man asks what is wro...

An Engineer goes to heaven

An engineer dies and goes up to the Pearly Gates where he is greeted by St. Peter. "Welcome to Heaven. Come right in. We can always use another engineer".

But the engineer does his due diligence and asks to see both Heaven and Hell before deciding where he wants to spend eternity. Heaven is n...

"The Last Day"

All arrivals in heaven have to go through a due diligence investigation to determine whether admission will be granted. One room has a clerk who inputs computerized records of what each applicant did on his or her last day of life.

The first applicant of the day explains that his last day was...

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