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Dreading Jokes

If we make it past 2020, I'll be dreading 2022.

After all, 2022 is 2020, too!

After my prostate exam, the doctor left. The nurse came in later, with a worried look on her face, and said the three words I was dreading to hear.

Who was that?

I am dreading the time when Mr. Musk's scandal come out.

I just know Elon-gate will keep stretching on.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am dreading the day when you no longer have to mask up in the supermarket.

Everyone will know I'm the cunt with the Tourettes

A devout Catholic man has just boarded a plane, and he's really dreading the long flight ahead. All of a sudden, the pope boards and takes a seat right next to him! What an honor!

The man sits there, thinking about how best to conduct himself and what to say, when the pope takes out a golf pencil and starts doing a crossword puzzle. Wow, His Holiness does crossword puzzles? the man thinks. I hope he asks me for help. That'll be my in for a wonderful conversation!

Sure ...

I've got an elementary school reunion coming up that I'm dreading,

because I've gained like a hundred pounds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two blokes were talking at a bar after last orders

The first one says "I'm dreading going home, it's always the same old story. I open the front door as quietly as I can, tiptoe up the stairs, I even get undressed in the bathroom so I don't disturb her. I slowly open the bedroom door, not switching on the light I climb slowly into bed then she switc...

Dentist: "This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?"

Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: "Yes, ready."

Dentist: "That will be $700 please."

I phoned the new Jamaican barbers in town, to see if I could book an appointment.

It's not going to work though, he said he'd be too scared to do my hair. He said he'd be dreading it.

Having a Jamaican hairstyle theme at work tommorow.

Im dreading it.

A Jamaican man has stormed into my hairdressers and demanded I give him a new style.

I'm dreading it.

It's Jamaica hairstyle day at work tomorrow.

I'm dreading it.

I used to rub and tie my hair together whenever I got stressed.

Now I’m dreading the consequences.

Why did the Rastafarian refuse to cut his hair for ten years?

He was dreading it.

Did you hear about the time Bob Marley went to the hairdressers?

He was dreading it

Why didn’t the Rastafarian get a haircut?

He was dreading it

Guy speeding in his car. Eventually a cop catches up with him:

Cop says, Sir why was you speeding? Guy replies, my wife disappeared 22 years ago, and every time I see a police car I panic:

I am dreading the day when they tell me they have found her, and they need me to take her back home:

Don’t get a Jamaican hairdo...

I did and I have been dreading it ever since.

A conductor is getting an orchestra together for a performance but having trouble finding a clarinet player.

Finally, he calls a contractor who tells him "Well, the only guy I've got available at this moment is this jazz clarinetist.”

The conductor replies "I can't stand working with jazz musicians! They dress lousy, they're always late, and they all have an attitude problem.”

“Well" replie...

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