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Drake Jokes

What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Drake?

Stevie has a legitimate reason why he hasn't seen his children.

What does Nathan Drakes call his unused underwear?

Unsharted.

Why did Drake go back to High School?

To pick up his girlfriend

What's Drake doing on his birthday?

An 18 year old.

What did Drake say after passing gas?

Farted from my bottom now it's clear

Bonus - Sharted from my bottom there's a smear

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An eagle who had just been divorced went out looking for new love one day...

He was flying around, and on the ground he spotted a dove. He flew down,
had a bit of ding dong with the dove,
then flew away. The little dove laid there and said...

"I am a little dove, I've had a bit of love, but I liked it."

The eagle was still flying around, and on the ground...

Drake visits a town famous for exporting coal...

He wanders around for an hour or so but leaves disappointed as he couldn't find all the minors he had heard about.

When Cannibals Attack

When cannibals attacked the AMAs, why were Eminem, Kendrick Lamar and Drake spared?

You're not supposed to eat the rappers.

(I literally dreamt this joke)

What do you tell Drake if he says something stupid?

Ok groomer

Why is Drake such a good chemist?

He can turn an O2 into an O3

What do you call it when Drake suicides?

Jumpman, jumpman, jumpman, jumpman

For centuries, scientists said “Drake and Josh” couldn’t come to Hulu or Netflix

But they found a way, they found a way

I couldn't think of a way to make a Drake and Josh joke sound simple

But I found a way

Indiana Jones, Lara Croft, and Nathan Drake walk into an ancient temple that has been lost for centuries.

They blow it up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, and Jason Todd go sunbathing together?

Baskin' Robins

In light of the recent video surfacing, Drake has set the cutoff age for his concerts at 16.

Anyone over that is just too old.

Did you hear about the new Drake Beats Headphones?

The softest headphones out there.

If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called?

OV O's!

What's the deal with Drake, first he was an actor now a rapper?

Must have been all degrassi was smoking.

I'll let myself out.

Billie Eilish just turned 18...

...now she’s too old for Drake.

Just bought Drakes new single, but I couldn't listen to it because a damn fish jumped and snatched the cd out of my hand

I guess it was cod's plan.

Kid Ink walks into a barbershop

The barber isn’t in tune with modern pop culture, only knowing bits and pieces, so he doesn’t recognize the rapper.

Kid Ink decides to take advantage of this and play a harmless prank.

Kid Ink sits down in the barber chair. The barber, wanting to get to know his client better, breaks...

I love how when you hear certain music, it can really take you places.

For instance, the bar I'm currently in are playing Drake so I'm now going somewhere else.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My ex girlfriend got a butt implant...

Shortly after the operation, she starting getting calls from all these modeling agencies and she was even featured in the new Drake music video that aired on MTV.


I called her to say congratulations, and she asked me how I found out...


I just s...

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Of course trump will challenge the results. He will not take no for an answer.

Just ask Ivana trump, Jill hearth, Jean carrol, summer zervos, alva Johnson, Jessica leeds, Kristen Anderson, Lisa boyne, Cathy heller, temple McDowell, Amy dorris, Karena Virginia, karen Johnson, mindy mcgillivary, Jennifer Murphy, Rachael crooks, Natasha stoynoff, juillet huddy, Jessica drake, nin...

An eagle goes looking for a mate...

He swoops down and picks up a loon. "I'm a loon, I'm a loon, I love to spoon."

The eagle realizes this will not work, so he kicks the loon out and finds a hawk. "I'm a hawk, I'm a hawk, I just want to talk."

Realizing that that will not work, he kicks out the hawk and finds a dove. "I'...

To all those considering doing the "Kiki Challenge" please remember...

You should never Drake and drive

Here's a terrible dad joke..

Drake

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

What are the two possible things that can happen when a ghost writer dies?

He becomes a ghost-ghost writer
Or...
Drake's career ends either of the two.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hawk is feeling horny...

The first partner he meets is a dove.


He pulls her into the bushes and there's a bunch of shaking and rustling sounds. A few minutes later, they both come out looking happy.


The dove says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved."


The hawk is still horny, though, ...

What do you call a duck that can't sing?

Drake.

I asked my wife what she wanted for dinner.

Wife - "I don't know."

Me, throwing out something completely random - "How about roast canard." (french for duck)

Wife - "What's a canard?"

Me - "Same as a mallard." (type of duck)

Wife - "What's a mallard?"

Me - "Same as a drake." (male duck)

Wife - "So, r...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a classic

A hawk was feeling incredibly horny one day but could not find a suitable female for procreation, in his search he came across a fairly attractive dove and figured "why not". He swooped down and fornicated with said dove. As he flew away the dove shook the loose down from her derriere and said "I'm ...

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