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Whats the diff. between an onion and a bagpipe.

Nobody cries when you cut up a bagpipe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A driver slows down for a stop sign but he doesn’t actually stop

A cop sees him and pulls him over. The driver says “is there a problem, officer?” The cop said “you just ran a stop sign back there”. The driver said, “what are you talking about? I slowed down.” The cop replied “but you didn’t actually stop.” The driver said “slow, stop, what’s the diff?” The cop r...

Whats the diff between EROTIC and KINKY?

EROTIC is when you use a feather.
KINKY is when you use the whole chicken.

what is the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

one is heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

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What’s the difference between your jokes and your penis?

Nobody laughs at your jokes

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When I told my friend I was getting a Jeep he was hating on it saying shit like "What about the glaciers and the rainforests?"



I was like "Bro, this thing has 4WD Low Range and diff locks, it'll handle that shit easily"

A bunch of functions are drinking in bar...

When someone yells "A differential is coming!" All the functions panic and try to hide, except e^x . One of the functions asked "e^x , why aren't you hiding from the differential?" To which it responded "I'm e^x , a differential can't do anything to me!" At that point, the differential walked in and...

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Help, my wife is missing!!!

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over 170 centermeters tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never ...

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

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