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Dalek Jokes

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What would a Dalek reincarnated as Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War say?

Emancipate! Emancipate!

How do the Daleks in Doctor Who stay so smooth and shiny?

They EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a dalek say while having sex?

EXSPERMINATE

What did the Dalek say when it shot the Linux user?

xterm-inate!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a Dalek call breakup sex?

<<<EX-PENETRATE>>>

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What does a sexy Dalek scream as it slips into 'something more comfortable?'

*"ACCENTUATE!!"*

What is a daleks favourite breakfast

Eggs, plain

I phoned the government, and asked what precautions they had taken against a Dalek invasion.

They told me steps had been put in place.

What does a dalek do in the shower

*ex-fo-li-ate*

What's the difference between Daleks and donald trump?

Daleks have a larger vocabulary.

Why is an apple a Dalek's favourite fruit?

Because it keeps the Doctor away!

what is Doctor Who's favourite food?

Dalek bread.

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Professor Stephen Hawking rolled into a fancy dress shop..

"Good morning." He said to the shopkeeper, in his famous robotic voice. "It's my science department's annual Dr Who fancy dress party tonight. Would you have a Tom Baker outfit for rental?"

"I'm sorry Mr Hawking." He replied. "I just rented the last one out yesterday."

"Oh dear." artif...

“Everyone makes mistakes”...

Said the Dalek climbing off the dustbin.

I don’t understand Doctor Who

I don’t watch Doctor Who, but I heard a few things here and there. Doctor Who is a guy who lives forever and robots called Daleks are trying to kill him.

What I don’t understand is why don’t these Daleks just go to his house and try to kill him? I mean... I don’t watch the show and even I kno...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do the other Daleks on planet Skaro say?

Teacher Dalek - "EDUCATE! EDUCATE!"

Student Dalek - "PROCRASTINATE! PROCRASTINATE!"

Horny Dalek - "PROCREATE! PROCREATE!"

Bored Dalek - "MASTURBATE! MASTURBATE!"

Bee Dalek - "POLLINATE! POLLINATE!"

In-love Dalek - "INFATUATE! INFATUATE!"

Actor Dalek - "IMPE...

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