Doctor Who Jokes - 60 Hilarious Doctor Who Jokes

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective...

I'd say it's Doctor Whom.

^*Edit: ^As ^a ^few ^have ^astutely ^pointed ^out, ^the ^character's ^name ^is ^just ^"The ^Doctor"; ^I ^should ^have ^said ^"the ^greatest ^sci ^fi ^show ^is ^Doctor ^Who" ^instead ^of ^"greatest ^hero ^in ^sci ^fi". ^Thankfully ^the ^dumb ^joke ^still ^works ^in ^t...

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What do you call an alcoholic Doctor Who monster?

A Ciderman

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A young doctor had moved to a small town to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds so that the community would become used to their new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, “I've been a little sick to my stomach.”

The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fre...

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What is a doctor who specializes in Adam's apples called.

A guyneckologist.

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What do you call the doctor who graduates at the bottom of the class?

Doctor

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call an overweight doctor who examines your penis?

A meatyurologist.

I met my new doctor who specializes in deformed hands.

It was a very positive experience, so I would give him three thumbs up.

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What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?

A URL-ologist.

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How do the Daleks in Doctor Who stay so smooth and shiny?

They EXFOLIATE! EXFOLIATE!

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What do you call a doctor who eats his vegetables?

A cannibal.

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Did you hear about the doctor who does circumcisions on commission?

He works for tips

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I’m so glad Doctor Who is back.

It’s about time.

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I made this Doctor Who joke myself.

A doctor who isn’t bound by the causal nature of linear joke telling!

(Wait for it.)

Knock knock...

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What do you call an Egyptian doctor who fixes back problems?

A Cairo-practor!

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I think the doctor who amputated my legs is the best doctor in the world,

but I admit I'm partial.

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I went to the Jail doctor who told me (age 62) that I had the body of a 30 year old...

I told them that I wasn't saying anything until I talked to my Lawyer.

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What do you call a doctor who drinks a lot of soda?

A fizz-ician (physician)

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A guy sees his Doctor who tells him he has really low magnesium in his blood

The guy says 0Mg

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What do you call a fat doctor who can predict the weather?

A meaty urologist.

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Doctor who?

Doctor: relax Peter, its just a small cut with a scalpel, don't be nervous.
Patient: I'm not Peter.
Doctor: i know, I'm Peter.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a doctor who goes around my neighbourhood handing out body parts...

...he gives me the willies.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Once, in a faraway land, there was this doctor who was a professional trickster...

This doctor was quite popular, but he had a big, bad secret; he deceives people. How? Well, let's just say a patient walks into his office with an illness. The doctor, after doing some checkups, gives his prescription for a medicine, which he even gives for free. It turns out, however, that the medi...

Did you hear about the Doctor who messed up the circumcision badly?

He quickly got the sack.

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Doctor Who is a terrible procrastinator.

He leaves everything for earlier.

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Why can Doctor Who never help himself out in the past?

It would make a pair of docs.

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Told my friend I was going to start watching Doctor Who...

...He said it was about time.

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What do you call a doctor who is half-human, half-horse?

The Centaur for Disease Control and Prevention

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Did you hear about the doctor who was studying ways of making people laugh?

He was known for his test tickles.

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A doctor who was proud of his degrees...

always had them hanging in his office. His BS in Biology, PhD in Microbiology, and his MD were framed and hung behind him.

One day his clinic caught fire and he was caught inside the burning building. They were finally able to pull his unconscious body from the rubble and rushed him to the em...

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If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Science Fiction is "Doctor Who."

But if I'm being completely objective... I'd say it's "Doctor Whom."

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What’s the greatest sci-fi show? Well subjectively it’s doctor who

But objectively it’s doctor whom

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Why doesn't Doctor Who travel with United Airlines?

Because the tardis is faster.

Yeah, you were expecting a joke about that doctor who got kicked off the United Airlines flight, but you were wrong.

WRONG!!!

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When my daughter Ria turned 4, she was so crazy with happiness, I took her to the doctor who said:

Euphoria

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If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery..

I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

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Did you hear about the doctor who yelled at everyone in the waiting room?

He lost his patients

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The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who

He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.

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A friend of mine finally started watching Doctor Who, after years of not even knowing what the show is about

It’s about time

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Did you ever hear about the doctor who was so obsessed with body building that it killed him?

I think his name was Frankenstein.

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Doctor Who was still hungry after dinner....

So he went back four seconds.

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How can I pay my compliments to the doctor who circumcised me?

I just feel like leaving a tip wasn't enough.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A story is told that in the mid 1990s, two men go to visit a doctor who is acclaimed for his ability to treat melancholia.

"We can’t eat, we can’t sleep,” say the men. “We feel contantly miserable. Please help us, doctor.”

“Laughter is the best medicine, my friends,” says the doctor. “Take yourself off to The Gathering of the Juggalos, where you will find Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope of the Insane Clown Posse perf...

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant.

This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions.

She replies, “Well, I’m a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?”

The doctor answered, “Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it’s difficult to desc...

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Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well?

He should have been attending to the sick and left the well alone.

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Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics

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What's the difference between Doctor Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about the doctor who fucked a zoo animal?

He was charged with a HIPPO violation

A doctor who ran his clinic out of a shopping center was shut down this week...

He was sued for mall-practice.

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What do you call an Indian doctor who likes telling dad jokes and give flu shots?

Pun-Jabby

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I found a doctor who would give me a discount on my son’s circumcision.

It was a ripoff.

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The doctor who performed my lobotomy operation did a lousy job.

I have half a mind to tell him so.

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What gaming projectile was thrown by John Barrowman’s “Doctor Who” character to pass the time while he was traveling along the Congo River?

The Dart of Harkness.

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What do you call an animal doctor who formerly served in the German army?

A Veteran Aryan Veterinarian.

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What do you call a Doctor who says they’ll never share your personal medical information with others, but does?

A HIPAAcrite.

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[Doctor Who themed] Why was Sylvester McCoy afraid of Paul McGann

Because McGann Hurt Eccleston

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How can you know if somebody watches Doctor Who?

They'll make sure you know.

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What do you call a doctor who specializes in the study or treatment of hearts for traveling carnival employees?

A Carniologist

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Did you hear about the Doctor who fell down the well?

He was taking a break at work and leaned too far over a well and fell right in! Guess he should have tended to the sick and left the well alone.

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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Guy goes to his doctor who runs some tests and comes back "I'm afraid you have cancer and you only have 6 months to live"

The guy asks "are you sure? Is there anything I can do?

The doctor says "We've run all the tests twice and we're quite certain. However, you might want to go over to UC Berkeley and enroll in Professor Hoffman's CS357 computer science class."

This guy is puzzled "Will that help me li...

Did you hear about the Eye Doctor who changed professions to become a comedian?

He made a spectacle of himself.

.

ok its bad. Apologies in advance.

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There was once a doctor who tried to prove that mainly blood was kept in bones,

But alas it twas in vein.

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