Why does a bride always cry at her wedding?

Cus she never marries the best man

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Damn girl, are you reddit?

Cus you repeat the same stupid shit over and over

My nurse wife told me this one a while ago

Why can you never get any painkillers in the jungle?

Cus parrots eat 'em all



This one always puts a smile on my face, even when I'm reaching for painkillers with a headache.

Hey girl are you Little Caesar's?

Cus you're hot and I'm ready

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Warning: no pun alert, I repeat: not a pun

A man from Serbia was working in Germany for about ten years now and he was getting nostalgic for his home country so he went to the boss and said to him: " Boss, I have been woking hard all of these years and I would like to have a 2 week vacation to return to Serbia". Boss approved his wish so he ...

What's E.T. short for?

Cus he's got little legs

Why was covid not allowed into a bar?

Cus covid 19

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

My rapper name would be Medium Rare

Cus it’s kinda raw

What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu?

Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates

Why is America overweight?

'Cus these colors don't run, brother!

Are you a barrier to stop water overflow?

Cus dam

Why are there so many female archeologists?

Probably cus they love digging up the past

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I don't bother keeping track of how many girls I've slept with. I let my dick do that.

Cus it's the little things that count.

You know why I like telling dad jokes?

Cus sometimes he laughs

Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other...

"Hey, are we venomous?"

The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."

"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."

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What I find most sexy in a girl is her personality

Girl: Oh good, cus I have several of those!

Guy: Uh... what?

Girl: _Shh!_ don't _listen_ to _her!_

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A woodsman heads into town to buy supplies...

He fills his cart and heads to the counter.

Clerk: Anything else for ya?

Woodsman: Ya got any women?

Clerk: We don't have any women, but we got Old Jim.

Woodsman: I ain't into that shit.

So the woodsman heads back to his cabin. 3 months later he returns for suppl...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

[Pick Up-Line] Did it hurt when you fell from a vending machine?

Cus you a snack

Every Half Dollar is Lee Harvey Oswald

Cus each one has a headshot of Kennedy

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?

Cus he was too far out, man

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cus that's where he parked his coupe.

This joke may contain profanity. πŸ€”

Whenever I'm down I just...

put my head between my legs and lean forward cus thats how I roll

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