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Cus Jokes

What's E.T. short for?

Cus he's got little legs

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Damn girl, are you reddit?

Cus you repeat the same stupid shit over and over

Why does a bride always cry at her wedding?

Cus she never marries the best man

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Fishing with grandad

A boy and his grandpa went out fishing one day. After a while of fishing, the grandpa pulled out a cigarette. Curious, the boy asked, whats that grandpa? Lighting it up and taking a deep drag and exhaling, the grandpa says, boy, this here is a cigarette. Can I have one too grandpa? The boy asked. We...

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A local joke from my country

So Bill works for the secret services and gets sent to Russia to spy on them. Eventually he got caught and the russians start torturing him in order to get the nuclear missile codes of Bill’s country. Bill shows incredible strength and integrity and doesn’t say a word. The russians are impressed wit...

My nurse wife told me this one a while ago

Why can you never get any painkillers in the jungle?

Cus parrots eat 'em all



This one always puts a smile on my face, even when I'm reaching for painkillers with a headache.

Why was covid not allowed into a bar?

Cus covid 19

Oh no! A robber broke into my house and stabbed me!

But that's ok cus I'm in the living room.

What did the dancing queen use to solve her math problems?

An ABBA-cus.

What have I named the Pie section of my bakery menu?

Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates

Why is America overweight?

'Cus these colors don't run, brother!

Why are there so many female archeologists?

Probably cus they love digging up the past

Are you a barrier to stop water overflow?

Cus dam

You know why I like telling dad jokes?

Cus sometimes he laughs

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I don't bother keeping track of how many girls I've slept with. I let my dick do that.

Cus it's the little things that count.

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What I find most sexy in a girl is her personality

Girl: Oh good, cus I have several of those!

Guy: Uh... what?

Girl: _Shh!_ don't _listen_ to _her!_

Two snakes are hanging out, when one asks the other...

"Hey, are we venomous?"

The other snake replies, "I'm not sure."

"Well I hope not," the first snake says, "cus I just bit my tongue."

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie from drowning?

Cus he was too far out, man

Every Half Dollar is Lee Harvey Oswald

Cus each one has a headshot of Kennedy

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Cus that's where he parked his coupe.

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Whenever I'm down I just...

put my head between my legs and lean forward cus thats how I roll

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A reclusive cowboy goes into town one day to fix his tools.

Whilst waiting for the job to be completed he goes next door to the saloon and sits himself at the bar.

Bartender: “How can I help you today sir”

Cowboy: “I want a whiskey and a women”

Bartender: “I sure can help you with that whiskey Sir, but we ain’t got no women workin’ today...

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A woodsman heads into town to buy supplies...

He fills his cart and heads to the counter.

Clerk: Anything else for ya?

Woodsman: Ya got any women?

Clerk: We don't have any women, but we got Old Jim.

Woodsman: I ain't into that shit.

So the woodsman heads back to his cabin. 3 months later he returns for suppl...

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Warning: no pun alert, I repeat: not a pun

A man from Serbia was working in Germany for about ten years now and he was getting nostalgic for his home country so he went to the boss and said to him: " Boss, I have been woking hard all of these years and I would like to have a 2 week vacation to return to Serbia". Boss approved his wish so he ...

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The DOD was putting together a new special forces unit...

In response to rising global tensions the Department of Defense decided a new, elite top secret unit was needed. Recruits were assembled from the special forces units of all branches.

A panel of generals, high level intelligence officers and congressmen is formed to begin interviews. The firs...

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