Why don't people trust those who say they can heal you with crystals?

Because they do crystal math

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Cancer!

Karen: Doctor, I've not been feeling well lately

Doctor: Well, I've looked at your lab reports and I'm afraid I have some bad news...

Karen: Don't give me this lab nonsense, you bureaucratic paper pusher! I don't believe Western medicine anyways! I've been following homeopathic medicin...

Does silicon make pretty crystals

Of quartz it does

This winter, ice crystals will stick together and fall from the sky

Snow joke

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A comprehensive observation about common religions and religious practices.

Jainism: You must not disturb shit

Bhuddism: You must become one with the shit.

Taoism: Shit happens

Shintoism: Our ancestors thought of this shit.

Hinduism: Eating meat makes you a shit person.

Paganism: Here's some shit that represents other shit.

Reform J...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sister Crystal

I asked my mother earlier today why my sister was named Crystal.

Mother: That's because I love crystals so much.

Me: What about my name then?

Mother: No more questions today, Dick.

I like my coffee like my women.

Someone secretly replaced my woman with Folger's Crystals. I can't tell the difference.

You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you?

You guys just buy into anything big pharma tells you don't you? i'll have you know my son was diagnosed with the measles so I placed various crystals around his bed while he slept to promote the proper aura for healing.

He's dead now but at least he's not autistic

So I heard this word problem from grade school.....

If you have five crystals, and billy takes four crystals, and sally gives you two crystals, how many crystals do you have?

It was then that I realized the kids were all doing crystal math.

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