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Corrected Jokes

“I stand corrected…”

Said the man in the orthopaedic shoes.

Elon is firing Twitter employees with bad posture

I have a hunch I might be next.

There are serious injustices that have not been corrected in this world.

For example, beating up a white guy will get you much more prison time than beating up a black guy.

After all, Assault can get you up to 25 years, while impersonating a policeman will get you 5 at most.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What if iPhones auto-corrected duck instead of f*ck?

"I went to the park and fed some fucks by the pond today."

This was an actual conversation that took place between my wife and my 7 yr old son just now.

My wife has been teaching my son to fold his own laundry but he complains about it everytime. My wife, trying to convince my son, said to him "If you pick up this habit, your future wife will love you very much."

My son replied "I don't want my future wife to love me very much. I want my futu...

My wife asked me why I carry around a gun in the house.

And I answered, because of the decepticons!

She laughed, I laughed, Alexa laughed, I shot Alexa.

It was a good time.

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Edit: Thank you all for the upvotes and yes, this is a adaption to an old joke, i thought it was fitting regarding todays article about Alexa "laug...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My English teacher corrected my Grammer.

One day during the lecture our English teacher told us things are not "hard", infact they are "difficult". She gave me the most difficult boner that day.

I used to date a girl who was a fan of “Lion king” like me.

Whenever we made out, she used to say Sukona ma tatas.

I always corrected her saying that it’s Hakuna matata.

I just realized that I am an idiot.

Recently someone asked me what’s the hardest thing I’ve done in college.

I answered “contemplate suicide”. I saw they weren’t laughing so I quickly corrected and said “about 9 inches”. Needless to say my mother didn’t appreciate that answer either.

I didn’t think orthopedic shoes would help with my posture,

but I stand corrected.

My computer auto-corrected "illegal immigrant" to "undocumented person."

It's a PC PC.

What did Peter Pan call Tinkerbell when she corrected his spelling?

A Diction Fairy

I used to think orthotics were pretty dumb until I started using them

I stand corrected

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.

This year, when the clocks went back an hour in Britain, not a single one of them in my house had to be manually corrected.

How times have changed.

When I was in high school I wrote a love letter to my teacher, and she shot me down.

But she also corrected the spelling and wrote “See me” in red marker at the bottom. Very mixed signals.

Auto-correct is so crazy now a days...

My mom meant to text me 'I love you' but it auto corrected to 'You're a disappointment.'

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