UPJOKE
murmurcryutterscreechsquawksquealbawlcawscreamcluckshriekbleathollerhissgurgle

Coos Jokes

Did you know? If a singer sings on stage their voice will echo but if a pigeon coos it doesn't

Because acoustics

There was a woman in the supermarket holding a huge multicoloured flag and making loud pigeon sounds.

I told her to mind her peace and coos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] So a man walks into a pet store, searching for a companion.

The man sees this brightly colored parrot on display, but there's a problem, the store owner tells the man. You see, this parrot's last owner was a foul-mouth, and the bird's vocabulary is crude, to say the least.

But the man is lonely, and his life is boring. The parrot might spice things ...

Little Johnny is trick or treating

and he’s dressed like a pirate! His outfit is top to bottom swashbuckling fun, and he’s incredibly proud of all the fine details included.

He goes to the first house, knocks on the door and when the door opens he yells “twick o tweat!”
The woman at the door fawns over him, she coos “oh...

Scottish man walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.

The Scottish man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thats full O coos Sharn ' (Don't drink the water ya fool, it's full of cow s ** t.)

The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.

The Scottish man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Statues in the Park...

A male and a female, magically come to life. They only have 24 hours of life in them, so they put it to good use.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" says the male.

"Yes..." says the female shyly. They go hand in hand behind some bushes, and there is much rustling in the branches. ...

A famous French fighter pilot ace in WW1 is on a picnic at his estate with a beautiful woman after the war...

After eating and laying on the charm, he asks to kiss her. Being quite smitten by his good looks, she happily accepts. He drips a rich merlot on her lips and proceeds to kiss her. After a few moments, she works up the nerve to ask “your lips are amazing, but what’s with the wine?”

He repli...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gang of stray dogs is hanging out together in the local dog park...

A rottweiler, a great dane, a labrador and of course a tiny chihuahua just glad to be accepted by such high company. They're discussing the sorts of things male dogs discuss when a babelicious poodle struts herself on up. A real high breed, classy bitch.
"Hello boys," She greets, "I tell you w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An attractive woman is sitting alone at the bar and sees a man with a military-style haircut sitting by himself at the other end, nursing his drink.

The woman notices that the man is looking glum and hasn't made any attempt to speak to anyone besides the barkeep. She takes a swig of liquid courage, saunters down the bar, and sits next to the man.

"Excuse me, sir, but are you a soldier? I couldn't help but notice your haircut!" The woman ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An old woman asks for her neighbor's parrot..

An old woman was chatting with her next door neighbor, and when he mentioned that he was going away to college and could not take his parrot with him, she asked him what he would do with the bird.
"Ah, I'll give 'em to the pet store. Somebody else's problem."
Well this just would not do for t...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.