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Conversing Jokes

A Chinese man and a Jewish man were conversing . . .

The Chinese man was proudly explaining the antiquity of his heritage. “We trace our history continuously through many dynasties and cultural periods way back to over 3,500 years ago!”
The Jewish man respectfully replied , “That is very impressive, indeed, but our history began over 6,000 yea...

A monk and a lady were conversing.

Monk : Send me an email and I’ll get back to you.

Lady : Wow. So are monks allowed to use email?

Monk: Of course they are, as long as there are no attachments.

So, a physicist finds themselves conversing with their god

"God, " they inquired, "how does time work for you?"

God replies, "Everything is a part of me. To compare, 1 of your minutes is but a billionth of 1 of my own."

The physicist thinks for a bit and then queries further, "God, do you use such a scale for everything?"

God nods, "Yes...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bill Gates in an airport lounge

I was in the VIP lounge last week en route to Seattle. Whilst in the lounge, I noticed Bill Gates sitting on the chesterfield enjoying a cognac.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle with me but she was running a bit late. Being a forward type of guy, I approac...

1995: A Chinese Official is conversing with a Russian citizen...

...Chinese Official, "You have nothing in Russia."

Russian, "Oh yeah, we have Yeltsin."

Chinese Offical, "Then we will steal your Yeltsin.

Russian, "If you take Yeltsin you'll have nothing in China."


Disclaimer: This joke is not mine, it was told to my father during ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bass Solo

A couple goes to see a marriage counselor. They say their marriage is on the rocks because they never speak to each other.

The counselor tries to get them to talk, but they just sit there with their arms folded and their mouths closed. He tries playing games. He tries tricking them. Nothing h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So three elderly men at a rest home are conversing about their age...

The first man says, "When I get up at 6:00 AM, it takes me a half hour to pee."

Second man says, "You're lucky. When I get up at 7:00 AM, it takes me a straight hour to take my morning poop."

Third man says, "I piss like a racehorse at 6:00 and crap like a goose at 7:00."

"Then ...

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