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Concession Jokes

What do you call a concession stand operated by Isis?

Allahu Snackbar

A couple is buying popcorn at the concession stand in the cinema...

Vendor: Do you want your popcorn sweet or salty?

Guy looks lovingly at his girlfriend and says: I want my popcorn like my girlfriend

Vendor: Dude, we don't sell ugly popcorn

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the dyslexic employee at the concession stand at the movie theatre get arrested?

For bootlegging copporn !!!

Hillary will give her concession speech...

Since somebody paid her $250,000 speaking fee.

At a boat rental concession the manager spots a boat out on a lake and yells through his megaphone,"Number 99,come in please. Your time is up."

Several minutes pass but the boat doesn't return.

"Boat number 99," He again hollers, "Return to the dock immediately or I'll have to charge you over time."

"Something's wrong!We only have 75 boats."the manager pauses then raises his megaphone,"Boat number 66,are you okay?"

As I'm working the concession stand at a movie theater, a customer comes up and asks for a refill.

I ask her, "Can you take your top off for me?"

Her boyfriend asks, "What did you say?"

"The lid, I'm not allowed to take it off for her," I reply.

And with a smile as bright as day she hands me the now topless cup and says to her boyfriend, "shut up you wouldn't have done anythi...

A ghost walks into a theater and goes to the concession stand

But he gets turned away because they don't serve spirits

The AMC theater workers weren't very happy with the deal made to end their labor strike

They had to make a lot of concessions.

Movie

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie.

After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn.

Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, “The last time I came to the mov...

Went to go see Black Panther today

And the employee at the concession stand asked wakanda snacks i wanted

What were the French doing at the Olympics?

Concessions.

TIL Neville Chamberlain worked at a hot dog stand as a teenager.

It really prepared him for a career in giving out concessions.

A King is thirsty

During a royal party, the king finds himself parched.

Rather than ask one of his many servants for a beverage, he thinks back to his more humble years, when he would fetch things for himself.

The king decides he will get up and get the drink himself.
As he approaches the concessions...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking down the street when he sees an advertisement for his favorite boxer, Mike Tyson.

He stops and reads the text on the poster.

*Come meet Mike Tyson! First 20 people can get punched by the man himself!*

Knowing that he didn’t want to pass up this opportunity, he shows up to the ring, 45 minutes early.
The building was already packed full of fans waiting to see Tyso...

A joke I heard a while back.

A doctor at a mental hospital promises the patients in his care that if they behave well for the next two weeks, he'd take them to a baseball game.When the day of the game arrived, the doctor and patients, along with the doctor's assistant, headed to the game. At the national anthem, the doctor said...

A cannibal gets a job at a cinema.

After finishing training, the manager decides that the cannibal is ready to start selling concessions, and tells him that if he has any questions, dont be afraid to ask him. All seems to be going well, but then a man and a woman walk in and ask for some popcorn and soda. The cannibal is confused b...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You know you're a Minnesotan Abroad if

You get weird looks if you ask for your pizza to be cut into squares.

You've gotten strange looks when you whipped out your Super America fuel card, your TCF Bank debit card, your Dunn Brothers gift card, or White Castle refillable cup at a gas station.

You're the only one in a t-shirt...

Kids going to prom

So there was kid that was going to prom with his high school girlfriend. They had been together since freshman year. He was captain of the football team; she was head of the cheer squad. So, about a week before senior prom, the kid is getting everything ready. He goes to rent a tuxedo from the tux s...

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